Unsurprisingly, I didn't get two minutes in December to update the blog. December was chaos, but fun. For the first time in years we put our tree up at the start of December. It was lovely. Just by being there the tree gently eased us into the Christmas spirit.
And wow - we got a white Christmas! I can't remember the last time that happened. I might be old fashioned, but a layer of snow on the ground makes Christmas day just about perfect.... along with that glass of sherry of course. (Yes I am really an 80 year old trapped in the body of a 30+ year old)
The only down side of December was the constant illness that we seem to have had in the house. Both children just haven't been sleeping. Runny noses, coughs, teething pains, and night-time potty training, have all contributed to sleepless nights. So if anyone has any advice on night-time training, I could do with the help. The elder wants to do it, and doesn't like pull-up nappies anymore. But she also doesn't want to get out of bed when it's really cold at night. Help!
As far as the looking 'yummy' task is concerned. Christmas did help. I now have a fabulous new dress and new boots. My next task is too make more of an effort to get fit. Although I don't feel particularly fat; I know I am a good two stone heavier than I was when I was dancing full-time. And I definately don't have the energy I used to. So it's about getting healthy. Yes.... I know it's a huge cliche - a new year dawns and everyone hits the diets. But for me, I think it's more about hitting the dance floor. So I need to find a good dance class that is aerobically difficult, technically difficult, and not miles away. Hmmm. I guess I'd better start the research then!
Happy new year everyone!
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
Monday, 23 November 2009
We'll add it to your Christmas list dear!
Our elder said to her dad, "can I have a car please?"
"I think we'll need to ask Santa Claus" was his swift reply. It was August.
She regularly flicks through the Early Learning catalogue pointing at toys and saying "we've got that", "I want that one, Mummy", "And that one, Mummy". "Got that". "Got that". " I want that one, Mummy". So we started trying to manage her expectations. "If you've been a good girl you might get one or two presents off your list. We'll write a list for Santa when it's nearly Christmas." The delaying tactics seemed to be working, and she'd definately got the idea that she won't get everything she asks for.
It's surprising how much a three year old thinks though. Last week her dad told her that if she's a very very very good girl she'd perhaps get three presents off her list. There was a short pause.
"Daddy", she said in that drawn out way that children have perfected, "if I'm a very very very very good girl, can I have four presents?" Caught by surprise, he laughed.
"Yes dear, if you're a very very very very good girl you may get four presents at Christmas." There was another pause.
"Daddy". She said again.
"Yes".
"If I'm a very very very very very......." He interrupted;
"No!" he said laughing "No more than four presents, because Santa has not got enough room in his sledge."
"Oh!....OK" she said (with amazing acceptance).
Another pause.
"Daddy, if you're a very good boy, will you get presents for Christmas?"
"Yes dear, I hope so".
"You'd like a Barbie wouldn't you Daddy, and then you can share with me."
"I think we'll need to ask Santa Claus" was his swift reply. It was August.
She regularly flicks through the Early Learning catalogue pointing at toys and saying "we've got that", "I want that one, Mummy", "And that one, Mummy". "Got that". "Got that". " I want that one, Mummy". So we started trying to manage her expectations. "If you've been a good girl you might get one or two presents off your list. We'll write a list for Santa when it's nearly Christmas." The delaying tactics seemed to be working, and she'd definately got the idea that she won't get everything she asks for.
It's surprising how much a three year old thinks though. Last week her dad told her that if she's a very very very good girl she'd perhaps get three presents off her list. There was a short pause.
"Daddy", she said in that drawn out way that children have perfected, "if I'm a very very very very good girl, can I have four presents?" Caught by surprise, he laughed.
"Yes dear, if you're a very very very very good girl you may get four presents at Christmas." There was another pause.
"Daddy". She said again.
"Yes".
"If I'm a very very very very very......." He interrupted;
"No!" he said laughing "No more than four presents, because Santa has not got enough room in his sledge."
"Oh!....OK" she said (with amazing acceptance).
Another pause.
"Daddy, if you're a very good boy, will you get presents for Christmas?"
"Yes dear, I hope so".
"You'd like a Barbie wouldn't you Daddy, and then you can share with me."
Tuesday, 10 November 2009
Yummy Mummy has Potential?
It would appear that going back to work was the kick I needed to get my act together on the 'looking good' front. I suddenly seem to have carved out a 5 minute slot to do my makeup in the morning. My makeup? I've never worn makeup before and now I've started I've realised I can't stop - or the new people I now work with will suddenly realise quite how flawed I am without it. Don't get me wrong. I don't wear much. But I've discovered tinted moisturiser, and for a woman that has never, ever, worn foundation or concealer, this product is a miracle find. It gives even coverage without leaving me feeling like I'm wearing a mask.
Oh my goodness; I'm talking about makeup! What has happened?
I've also worked out; as a result of a mammoth 'trying on' session; that 80% of my wardrobe that actually fits me is smart work-wear, and the rest is really only slob-around-the-house wear. No wonder I was struggling to find decent (washable) clothes to wear whilst looking after the kids.
So now I have a shopping challenge. Nice clothes for childcare. Pity really. I was going to argue the case for new shoes for work - but it looks like I don't need any! I doubt that'll stop me!
Maybe it isn't such a stretch to becoming a yummy mummy after all? Now all I need to do is find a 5 minute slot to actually do some exercise on that lovely jelly belly. Mmmmmm.
Oh my goodness; I'm talking about makeup! What has happened?
I've also worked out; as a result of a mammoth 'trying on' session; that 80% of my wardrobe that actually fits me is smart work-wear, and the rest is really only slob-around-the-house wear. No wonder I was struggling to find decent (washable) clothes to wear whilst looking after the kids.
So now I have a shopping challenge. Nice clothes for childcare. Pity really. I was going to argue the case for new shoes for work - but it looks like I don't need any! I doubt that'll stop me!
Maybe it isn't such a stretch to becoming a yummy mummy after all? Now all I need to do is find a 5 minute slot to actually do some exercise on that lovely jelly belly. Mmmmmm.
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
No wonder I have to write everything down!
I clearly have too much on my mind. I started back at work this week, and whilst it's exciting, and great to be 'me' again for a few days each week, I appear to be losing my ability to think properly.
We left our freezer slightly open for, we think, a couple of days, before noticing it wasn't shut properly. So, as you'd expect, a whole load of food had to be thrown away, because even if it was OK, you just know I'd worry that it wasn't. OK, I hear you say, what's that got to do with not thinking? After all, anyone could make that mistake. You haven't heard the worst yet. Leaving the door open had ensured that it looked like there'd been a snowstorm in there; so I put down some towels, propped the door open, and left it to defrost.
The freezer is in the garage. It's one of two (don't ask). I went into the garage today to grab some food from the still-working freezer and happened to glance at the one I was defrosting. It was still frosty.
Hmm. I thought. That's taking a while. I suppose it has been cold the last few days though (our garage is freezing anyway.) And it took my brain a good couple of minutes to shout up enough for me to realise that it was still frosty because it was still turned on. The freezer door is wide open and I appear to be trying to freeze my entire garage. I dread to think what the electricity bill will look like.
I turned it off.
I think maybe I need more sleep.
We left our freezer slightly open for, we think, a couple of days, before noticing it wasn't shut properly. So, as you'd expect, a whole load of food had to be thrown away, because even if it was OK, you just know I'd worry that it wasn't. OK, I hear you say, what's that got to do with not thinking? After all, anyone could make that mistake. You haven't heard the worst yet. Leaving the door open had ensured that it looked like there'd been a snowstorm in there; so I put down some towels, propped the door open, and left it to defrost.
The freezer is in the garage. It's one of two (don't ask). I went into the garage today to grab some food from the still-working freezer and happened to glance at the one I was defrosting. It was still frosty.
Hmm. I thought. That's taking a while. I suppose it has been cold the last few days though (our garage is freezing anyway.) And it took my brain a good couple of minutes to shout up enough for me to realise that it was still frosty because it was still turned on. The freezer door is wide open and I appear to be trying to freeze my entire garage. I dread to think what the electricity bill will look like.
I turned it off.
I think maybe I need more sleep.
Tuesday, 6 October 2009
If you go to work your children will be less healthy!?
I was told, ironically whilst taking my daughter to Tiny Tumblers (gymnastics for pre-schoolers), that there has been some research published this week that concludes that children of mums that stay at home are likely to be healthier than those of mums that go to work.
I'm a mum who has made a decision to return to work sooner than I had originally intended. The reasons for this are many and complex, but as you will note from my previous post, I've not managed to avoid a fair degree of guilt in coming to this decision. Ironic, as my girls already go to nursery two days a week; a move that we are very happy with having seen a huge improvement in my eldest daughters vocabulary and social skills in the first few months she went. So the girls won't be spending any less time with me. I then felt guilty that I won't be able to do the cleaning and laundry whilst they are out, but will have to do it in what it now their time with mummy. The guilt was short lived when I cottoned on to the fact that I could actually pay a cleaner to do all the chores (since I'd be earning) and therefore playtime isn't affected at all. Still felt guilty though. I think it's because I'm actually looking forward to working again, and almost feel that if I'm looking forward to doing something that's not with my girls I should feel guilty.
Knowing all this, you can perhaps imagine my response to this research report, published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health. It basically concluded that children of working mums were more likely to be fed junk food, and allowed to watch more telly and do less exercise.
As if I wasn't feeling guilty enough already! And then I got quite angry. As is the case with all research of this type, it's isolated. It doesn't measure how happy, contended or fulfilled the children, mums and dads in these families are. It doesn't account for mums that overcompensate and deny their children sweet snacks so vigorously that the children rebel as teens and end up even more likely to eat unhealthily as adults. It doesn't point out the other effect of mums going to work. The message it sends to the children that mum is a strong, independent woman, who works hard to provide for her family. Surely all positive?
As an accountant and statistician I felt compelled to look at this report more carefully. Typically I discovered that results had been 'adjusted' for confounding and mediating factors. In English, the results were originally the exact opposite. The unadjusted results show that children of mums who worked full or part time were more likely to eat fruit and veg between meals, eat three or more portions of fruit a day, participate in organised exercise three or more times a week, and eat fewer sweet snacks between meals.
These results were adjusted to take away the influence of the following factors; ethnicity, mum's job type, mum's marital status, mum's highest qualification, the number of other children and household income. This adjustment isolates the data to conclude that it was only the 'to work or not to work' status that affected health detrimentally.
The report did, to be fair, admit its limitations as all good reports do. (Pity the papers then reporting on them tend to pick out the sensationalistic bits only). It pointed out that results were based on answers to single questions, and that estimates were used where data was missing (for example assuming working hours continued at the same rate week after week).
Maybe the data would feel more helpful if they could somehow account for the mums (and dads!) values, beliefs, commitment and determination in these reports. When they find out who does the chores (maybe it's bought in, like my suggestion!), and measure the sizes of the food portions (one Jaffa cake for pudding is a bit different to large quantities of chocolate and ice cream. Half a packet of crisps after a large healthy meal isn't the same as half a packet of crisps when nothing else has been eaten.) Maybe then I could feel that it was a helpful report. But probably not. Afterall, I won't accept anyone telling me I'm a bad mother. I do the guilt thing quite happily on my own thank you.
I'd like to propose that all us mothers respond to this as follows. We take it with a pinch of salt.
We all have common sense, and we all know what we, and our children, should be eating. And to be fair I believe that there are a huge amount of people out there, parents or not, who already feel pressurised to be stick thin, tanned, gorgeous, successful, sexy... and calm, and despite all this ridiculous pressure, are living life the the best of their ability and doing a darn good job of it.
Give us all a break and let us figure it out ourselves. We know we could be healthier. There's unlikely to ever be a point when people tell us we're too healthy. So give it a rest!
Go to the guardian website just for the fun of reading the resulting comments that the press report obtained. Seems to be a general consensus that this scientific report will be, at best, ignored in the same way that the working dads were. http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/sep/29/working-mothers-child-health
I'm a mum who has made a decision to return to work sooner than I had originally intended. The reasons for this are many and complex, but as you will note from my previous post, I've not managed to avoid a fair degree of guilt in coming to this decision. Ironic, as my girls already go to nursery two days a week; a move that we are very happy with having seen a huge improvement in my eldest daughters vocabulary and social skills in the first few months she went. So the girls won't be spending any less time with me. I then felt guilty that I won't be able to do the cleaning and laundry whilst they are out, but will have to do it in what it now their time with mummy. The guilt was short lived when I cottoned on to the fact that I could actually pay a cleaner to do all the chores (since I'd be earning) and therefore playtime isn't affected at all. Still felt guilty though. I think it's because I'm actually looking forward to working again, and almost feel that if I'm looking forward to doing something that's not with my girls I should feel guilty.
Knowing all this, you can perhaps imagine my response to this research report, published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health. It basically concluded that children of working mums were more likely to be fed junk food, and allowed to watch more telly and do less exercise.
As if I wasn't feeling guilty enough already! And then I got quite angry. As is the case with all research of this type, it's isolated. It doesn't measure how happy, contended or fulfilled the children, mums and dads in these families are. It doesn't account for mums that overcompensate and deny their children sweet snacks so vigorously that the children rebel as teens and end up even more likely to eat unhealthily as adults. It doesn't point out the other effect of mums going to work. The message it sends to the children that mum is a strong, independent woman, who works hard to provide for her family. Surely all positive?
As an accountant and statistician I felt compelled to look at this report more carefully. Typically I discovered that results had been 'adjusted' for confounding and mediating factors. In English, the results were originally the exact opposite. The unadjusted results show that children of mums who worked full or part time were more likely to eat fruit and veg between meals, eat three or more portions of fruit a day, participate in organised exercise three or more times a week, and eat fewer sweet snacks between meals.
These results were adjusted to take away the influence of the following factors; ethnicity, mum's job type, mum's marital status, mum's highest qualification, the number of other children and household income. This adjustment isolates the data to conclude that it was only the 'to work or not to work' status that affected health detrimentally.
The report did, to be fair, admit its limitations as all good reports do. (Pity the papers then reporting on them tend to pick out the sensationalistic bits only). It pointed out that results were based on answers to single questions, and that estimates were used where data was missing (for example assuming working hours continued at the same rate week after week).
Maybe the data would feel more helpful if they could somehow account for the mums (and dads!) values, beliefs, commitment and determination in these reports. When they find out who does the chores (maybe it's bought in, like my suggestion!), and measure the sizes of the food portions (one Jaffa cake for pudding is a bit different to large quantities of chocolate and ice cream. Half a packet of crisps after a large healthy meal isn't the same as half a packet of crisps when nothing else has been eaten.) Maybe then I could feel that it was a helpful report. But probably not. Afterall, I won't accept anyone telling me I'm a bad mother. I do the guilt thing quite happily on my own thank you.
I'd like to propose that all us mothers respond to this as follows. We take it with a pinch of salt.
We all have common sense, and we all know what we, and our children, should be eating. And to be fair I believe that there are a huge amount of people out there, parents or not, who already feel pressurised to be stick thin, tanned, gorgeous, successful, sexy... and calm, and despite all this ridiculous pressure, are living life the the best of their ability and doing a darn good job of it.
Give us all a break and let us figure it out ourselves. We know we could be healthier. There's unlikely to ever be a point when people tell us we're too healthy. So give it a rest!
Go to the guardian website just for the fun of reading the resulting comments that the press report obtained. Seems to be a general consensus that this scientific report will be, at best, ignored in the same way that the working dads were. http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/sep/29/working-mothers-child-health
View the actual report at http://press.psprings.co.uk/jech/september/ch84590.pdf
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