It's been a while since we indulged in a spot of giggling at the amazing things our young children say on this blog. It's not that mine haven't been saying all manner of amusing, inappropriate, embarrassing things. It's just that I haven't been organised enough to jot them down.
I feel an extra need to indulge in a spot of giggling at the moment as we are going through some personal family life challenges at the moment that are making life that little bit more emotional, raw and painful. But we are a family bursting with love, and it's for that reason that I know we can get through the challenges together. When it's less raw, and less likely to set me off crying again, I may well share; but until then I undertake the usual human trait of short-term avoidance tactics and instead indulge in the distraction of my daughters' naivety.
Showing posts with label out of the mouths of babes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label out of the mouths of babes. Show all posts
Saturday, 2 March 2013
Wednesday, 1 August 2012
Out of the mouths of babes (Aug 2012)
When you are a parent you hear words together in sentences that you never
expected to hear together, let alone in a sentence that made sense.
Snowman. Willy. Hairy.
Three words. Would you like to know
how they ended up in a sentence together?
My husband likes to buy Imperial Leather's foamburst. If you are not familiar with the product, it
is a type of shower gel that, when it comes into contact with wet skin, becomes
exceedingly, ridiculously, foamy. Children obviously love it.
Our 6 year old girl walks into the bathroom whilst her dad is taking a
shower on holiday. It's one of those
over-the-bath showers, so, from her vantage point, there is nothing between her
and him. The glass screen isn't in the
way. He has already stepped slightly out
of the spray of the shower and has covered himself in 'foamburst'.
She looks at him and giggles.
He says; "do I look like a snowman?" thinking obviously that’s
why she’s giggling.
"No." she says.
"Snowman aren't hairy"
"So do I look like a hairy snowman?" he says laughing.
"No." she says. "Snowmen aren't hairy". She does like
to correct us.
“So what do I look like?" he asks, as she's is still giggling. And anyone who's been laughed at by a child
whilst they are naked will understand it's a little perplexing.
She laughs somemore and this is the point when I walked into the room; and
this is the first thing I hear her say:
"You look like a hairy snowman with a willy" she says giggling
and running back out of the room.
Like I said. Three words. Not expected together. And not even that
funny. But she didn’t stop giggling to
herself for the rest of the evening. What
is it about that word that just makes everyone smirk.
Now you know the drill by now folks.
The idea is that we get everyone’s “Out of the mouths of babes” stories
of the month and collect them here.
Add yours by clicking to comment below; or write a blog post using this
prompt, grab yourself the badge so everyone can get back to the main list, and
link up your post below. Share the
funnies and visit a couple of other posts whilst you are here!
I look forward to seeing what you come up with.
Then grab a cuppa, unplug the phone, and enjoy the posts as they are added! Whilst you are waiting for them, here are the previous editions for your giggling pleasure! Out of the mouths of babes
Thanks for sharing!
Saturday, 7 July 2012
Why Why Why Why Why?
Our 3 year old is in the Why? stage.
"Oh look sweetheart", I observe as we leave the house yesterday morning, "it's rained so hard that the puddles are really big."
"Why?" she responded, with that tone that you start to hate. You know what I mean. With the inflection at the end and an elongated i sound.
My reaction included a longer than usual blink, a frown and a sigh all rolled into one.
"Oh dear, it's starting to rain fast now. Let's get inside quickly."
"Why?"
My reaction? A longer than usual blink, a frown, a sigh and an additional shake of my head for good measure. These whys are not helping me look yummy at all!
But what why questions would I ask her?
Why are you telling me you're too tired to get your pyjamas on one minute, but are leaping around on your bed, full of beans, the next?
Why do you randomly take off all your clothes and abandon them at different places across the house? Are you playing hide and seek with them?
Why did you like cheese yesterday, but hate it today?
Why do I have packets of raisins in every handbag, clutch bag, rucksack and holdall in the house?
Why does your hair never look like I've brushed it?
Why does my hair never look like I've brushed it?
Why do I have to remind you that it's pyjamas, brush teeth, brush hair, BEFORE, story and song time, every single night, despite the fact that we've been doing the same routine since you were born?
Why do you decide it's bath time at 8am in the morning just before it's time to leave for school?
Why do I quote Daddy Pig?
Why do I find myself humming Chi-Chi-Wah* at work and having to stop myself sticking out my tongue?
Why do you never respond to my questions the first time, making me repeat myself over and over again?
Why do you never respond to my questions the first time, making me repeat myself....? Oh pants.
Have you got any WHY? questions you'd ask your children? Please add them to the comments below; I'd love to hear them.
This post is my response to Mummy Central's Why? Meme. Thanks to Louise at A Strong Coffee for tagging me. If you'd like to join in, feel free! Either add your questions by commenting below, or write your own post and link up!
*It's a very amusing and highly infectious song that appears to be a staple of European holiday resort kids discos across France and Spain. Google search results seem to indicate it's a Spanish song, but the version my children learnt in France was the Dutch version. We then had a German version in Spain. Confused? Me too.
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| Picture credit: thewhyfoundation.org |
"Why?" she responded, with that tone that you start to hate. You know what I mean. With the inflection at the end and an elongated i sound.
My reaction included a longer than usual blink, a frown and a sigh all rolled into one.
"Oh dear, it's starting to rain fast now. Let's get inside quickly."
"Why?"
My reaction? A longer than usual blink, a frown, a sigh and an additional shake of my head for good measure. These whys are not helping me look yummy at all!
But what why questions would I ask her?
Why are you telling me you're too tired to get your pyjamas on one minute, but are leaping around on your bed, full of beans, the next?
Why do you randomly take off all your clothes and abandon them at different places across the house? Are you playing hide and seek with them?
Why did you like cheese yesterday, but hate it today?
Why do I have packets of raisins in every handbag, clutch bag, rucksack and holdall in the house?
Why does your hair never look like I've brushed it?
Why does my hair never look like I've brushed it?
Why do I have to remind you that it's pyjamas, brush teeth, brush hair, BEFORE, story and song time, every single night, despite the fact that we've been doing the same routine since you were born?
Why do you decide it's bath time at 8am in the morning just before it's time to leave for school?
Why do I quote Daddy Pig?
Why do I find myself humming Chi-Chi-Wah* at work and having to stop myself sticking out my tongue?
Why do you never respond to my questions the first time, making me repeat myself over and over again?
Why do you never respond to my questions the first time, making me repeat myself....? Oh pants.
Have you got any WHY? questions you'd ask your children? Please add them to the comments below; I'd love to hear them.
This post is my response to Mummy Central's Why? Meme. Thanks to Louise at A Strong Coffee for tagging me. If you'd like to join in, feel free! Either add your questions by commenting below, or write your own post and link up!
*It's a very amusing and highly infectious song that appears to be a staple of European holiday resort kids discos across France and Spain. Google search results seem to indicate it's a Spanish song, but the version my children learnt in France was the Dutch version. We then had a German version in Spain. Confused? Me too.
Monday, 2 July 2012
Out of the mouths of babes (July 2012): Willies & Pirates
My younger daughter is now 3 years old. I envy the things that she gets away with saying."You've got a big tummy mummy. Like Mr Greedy!" Gee, thanks love. And no; I'm not pregnant, just suffering from post holiday weight gain. Thanks for reminding me.
"Our cousin can stand up to do his wee wee. I can do that too."
"No dear, you can't.... No. Sit down please dear." Starts to panic "Really, love, sit down! You've got nothing to aim with!" How did I further explain this? "You know the water squirters we played with on holiday, that you can point and aim at whoever you want to splash? Well your cousin has a willy that he can point and aim with. But you don't. If you try and do it standing up, it'll just run down your legs." Her response? "That's not fair! I want one"
"Dog's aren't pets, mummy".
"Yes they are dear."
"No they're not. They are dogs."
And her current favourite jokes:
1. "What's a pirate's favourite shop? Aaaaaarrrrrrgos."
2. "What's Dora's favourite shop? Boots."
3. "What's a cow's favourite shop? Mooooooo" (No I don't get this one; but she thinks it's hilarious!)
My children make me
Now grab a cuppa, unplug the phone, and enjoy the posts as they are added! Whilst you are waiting for them, here is June's edition for your giggling pleasure! Out of the mouths of babes (June 2012)
Instructions
1. Grab my button and paste it at the top or bottom of your post, to enable readers to get back to the main list. (Please let me know if the code doesn't work. I'm still a little new at this and nervous about copy/paste!)
2. Publish your post on your blog.
3. Add your post URL to the Linky tool below and watch your post appear as if by magic to the main list.
Thanks for sharing!
Monday, 4 June 2012
Out of the mouths of babes (June 2012)
This weekend my daughter, 6 years old, was watching the Diamond Jubilee Pageant on the television. The Queen hadn't yet arrived and my daughter was getting a little frustrated and bored watching all the other Royals arrive and take what seemed like forever to get on the boat.
"Where's the Queen, mummy?" she asked
"I'm not sure darling" I responded.
"I know." She said. "She's late".
"I don't think she is love."
"Yes she is, mummy. She probably needed a poo poo."
Children are so brilliantly literal and marvellously insightful! If you have a blog, post your story and link it up here using the instructions below. If not; simply sit back, grab a cuppa, and enjoy the growing list of posts as they appear in the list below.
Here's May's edition for your giggling pleasure.
Instructions
1. Grab my button and paste it at the top or bottom of your post, to enable readers to get back to the main list. (Please let me know if the code doesn't work. It's the first time I've tried this!)
2. Publish your post on your blog.
3. Add your post URL to the Linky tool below and watch your post appear as if by magic to the main list.
Thanks for sharing!
Friday, 4 May 2012
Out of the mouths of babes
At the moment my younger, at 3 years old, is starting to understand the concept of 'teasing'. Mainly, I expect, because her father is a great 'teaser' and is often winding the girls up.
Yesterday, after I'd asked the girls to head upstairs to brush their teeth for bed; and I'd asked twice; she stopped, half way up the stairs. She sat herself down and her bottom lip inched out.
"Mummy, I don't like you anymore" she said.
"Oh, why not love?" I said, wondering if I'd raised my voice more than I thought (I hadn't)
"You always tell us what to do. I don't want you to be my mummy anymore".
Now at this point my heart was throbbing from the knife stabbed through it.
"Oh love!" I exclaimed "It wouldn't be very nice if you didn't have a mummy would it?"
"Daddy will look after us" she responded. The lip was still out and she was looking very coy, though I didn't notice it at the time I was too busy trying not to cry myself.
"Oh" I said.
And then; with timing only a 3 year old could possess, she looked up through those long eyelashes and said, sweet as pie, "It's alright Mummy. I'm only teasing."
You can imagine it can't you.
And so, I thought it would be nice to bring together other mummy blogger's posts sharing the words of wisdom that our children provide us with. Here it is; the "Out of the mouths of babes" link up. Hopefully lots of my lovely fellow mummy bloggers will join up (instructions below) and add their links to the list below. Have fun reading them! The aim is to do this every month. Let's see how it goes!
Instructions
1. Grab my button and paste it at the top or bottom of your post, to enable readers to get back to the main list. (Please let me know if the code doesn't work. It's the first time I've tried this!)
2. Publish your post on your blog.
3. Add your post URL to the Linky tool below and watch your post appear as if by magic to the main list.
Thanks for sharing!
Thursday, 1 December 2011
Public Sector Strikes - From a 5 year old's view point!
So I spent a good 10 minutes on Wednesday morning explaining to my 5 year old daughter that only half of her school was open. That her class was still attending school, but that it would be a lot quieter because some classes had to stay home. That the reason for this is because adults, when we are not feeling happy about something, don't cry and scream like babies. Instead, one way we can let our bosses know we are not happy is to not go to work. And another thing we can do, on the day we don't go to work, is to stand outside work with a big sign that tells everybody why we are not at work. That way we don't have to scream and shout.
I did explained all this because I wasn't sure if there would be a need to cross a picket line to get into the school (what with only half the classes being told to stay home, and the other classes being required to attend). And I wanted her to understand a little about the protests.
I also explained that the reason the teachers weren't happy was that they didn't think they were being given enough money for the work that they did. (I know that's not technically accurate in this case this week, but you try explaining pensions to a 5 year old - I know I didn't fancy that digression!)
My daughter was, in the way that children with fresh, open, non-cynical, clear eyes can be, utterly eloquent in her response to this explanation.
"But Mummy...." she said, with a confused expression. The expression that I've seen before, when I've said something particularly silly. She said:
"In this world, you don't always get what you want. You have to be happy with what you have."
Perfect summary if you ask me. My work here is done!
I did explained all this because I wasn't sure if there would be a need to cross a picket line to get into the school (what with only half the classes being told to stay home, and the other classes being required to attend). And I wanted her to understand a little about the protests.
I also explained that the reason the teachers weren't happy was that they didn't think they were being given enough money for the work that they did. (I know that's not technically accurate in this case this week, but you try explaining pensions to a 5 year old - I know I didn't fancy that digression!)
My daughter was, in the way that children with fresh, open, non-cynical, clear eyes can be, utterly eloquent in her response to this explanation.
"But Mummy...." she said, with a confused expression. The expression that I've seen before, when I've said something particularly silly. She said:
"In this world, you don't always get what you want. You have to be happy with what you have."
Perfect summary if you ask me. My work here is done!
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
Christmas Assembly Confusion! You need to take 'what?' to school?
My eldest girl (5 yrs) came home with instructions yesterday.
Thinking about it though; it’ll be harder to get hold of a kilt for this assembly than it would be to supply a quilt, so maybe she’s on to something!
“Mummy…..” she said in that slightly irritating whiny way that 5 year olds have perfected and which you know will precede a question that involves you doing something, or that presents you with a new complicated job to do.
“Mummy…….. I need a costume for school for the Christmas assembly”
“OK luv, what do you need?” I say overly cheerily to suppress the groan that is threatening.
“I need a quilt, mummy”
“A quilt?” I frown.
“Yes” she says seeing the doubt in my eyes and nodding her little head furiously. “A quilt”. Obviously I am doubtful. I have an image in my head of a small child swamped with her winter quilt, over her head, wrapped around her like Mary’s shawl in the nativity, a large belt strapping it all together. Ahhhh... I think I may be on to something.
“Is it to dress up as Mary? Or a Shepherd?” I ask thinking I’ve worked it out. But she’s not at all happy with that suggestion and I can see very quickly that she is disgusted with my apparent stupidity.
“NO Mummy” At one point I think she’s going to tut at me and she says very slowly and slightly loudly.. “We have to dress up like the Countries.”
“Countries?”
“Yes Mummy.” I can tell she’s getting exasperated now. “So I need a quilt. Like they wear in bonny Scotland…………”
And so it transpires that the children have been learning about the Olympics and are doing a Christmas assembly on this subject, in which my daughter is supporting Scotland. I am not sure which made my laugh more in the next 10 minutes until I finally came up for air, the ‘quilt’ or the fact that my daughter had used the word ‘bonny’. A word we have never used in any context previously before!
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Out of the mouths of babes...
So we are all lined up waiting our turn for a go on the bumperboats. These are round boats, with inflatable rings around them. They seat two, and you use a joystick style controller with a button on the top to direct the electric motor and point the boat in the direction you want to go.
We are at Wheelgate Adventure Park, just north of Nottingham, in the Midlands. It's a great park for young children, with plenty of rides for them. We've been to the park a couple of times before, but had never yet got around to a go on the boats.
Well today was the day. The sun was shining and the girls were being particularly well behaved making for a nice family day out. We reached the start of the queue and the man in charge of the ride handed us two lifejackets for the girls. I'd ride with Cheeky Monkey no.1, my husband with other youngest of our two cheeky monkeys, now approaching 3 years old. My husband had been holding CM No.2 in his arms, but placed her back down on the ground so he could put her life jacket on.
Jackets were put on. CM No.2 looked down at hers, a thick padded jacket which came out from her chest a good few inches. She patted her chest with a satisfied expression.
It was fairly quiet in this queue. I should point that out now.
CM No. 2 looked up at daddy, still patting her chest in a satisfied manner.
"Daddy," she shouted up. "Look, you can't pick me up now!"
"Ok luv," he responded and asked "why?"
"You can't pick me up now, daddy, because I've got BIG boobies!" And she giggled the cheekiest giggle and shouted to her sister.
"Look! I've got BIG boobies!" patting away on her chest.
Kids.... Don't you just love 'em!
We are at Wheelgate Adventure Park, just north of Nottingham, in the Midlands. It's a great park for young children, with plenty of rides for them. We've been to the park a couple of times before, but had never yet got around to a go on the boats.
Well today was the day. The sun was shining and the girls were being particularly well behaved making for a nice family day out. We reached the start of the queue and the man in charge of the ride handed us two lifejackets for the girls. I'd ride with Cheeky Monkey no.1, my husband with other youngest of our two cheeky monkeys, now approaching 3 years old. My husband had been holding CM No.2 in his arms, but placed her back down on the ground so he could put her life jacket on.
Jackets were put on. CM No.2 looked down at hers, a thick padded jacket which came out from her chest a good few inches. She patted her chest with a satisfied expression.
It was fairly quiet in this queue. I should point that out now.
CM No. 2 looked up at daddy, still patting her chest in a satisfied manner.
"Daddy," she shouted up. "Look, you can't pick me up now!"
"Ok luv," he responded and asked "why?"
"You can't pick me up now, daddy, because I've got BIG boobies!" And she giggled the cheekiest giggle and shouted to her sister.
"Look! I've got BIG boobies!" patting away on her chest.
Kids.... Don't you just love 'em!
Thursday, 28 July 2011
The big one goes public!
We were in the dentist's waiting room this morning. All fairly quiet. Receptionist typing away on her keyboard. Nice leather tub chairs. Coffee table sporting the usual magazines and this morning's paper. Other parents with children that all all speaking interestingly quietly. The volume definitely seems to turn down when you walk children into clinics, hospitals and dentists. Why is that? It was all very civilised.
We'd arrived early having also hit the doctors surgery this morning., so the girls were looking a the children's books and toys provided in a waiting room 'toy-box'. All's well so far.
Eldest daughter: "Is it our turn yet mummy?"
"No, luv. We were a bit early. It won't be long though"
Youngest daughter, now 3, stands up and starts peering around the room intently.
"Mummy..." she says. Far, far more loudly that the volume we've already established is appropriate for this type of venue... "Where's the cock?"
"They haven't got a cLock here luv..." I say, speaking uncannily like Ros in Friends, with a need to stress every single letter and trying not to catch the eye of the receptionist.
It was only a matter of time before she went public!
If this post completely lost you, you may need to do a little back reading - just a paragraph... click here!
We'd arrived early having also hit the doctors surgery this morning., so the girls were looking a the children's books and toys provided in a waiting room 'toy-box'. All's well so far.
Eldest daughter: "Is it our turn yet mummy?"
"No, luv. We were a bit early. It won't be long though"
Youngest daughter, now 3, stands up and starts peering around the room intently.
"Mummy..." she says. Far, far more loudly that the volume we've already established is appropriate for this type of venue... "Where's the cock?"
"They haven't got a cLock here luv..." I say, speaking uncannily like Ros in Friends, with a need to stress every single letter and trying not to catch the eye of the receptionist.
It was only a matter of time before she went public!
If this post completely lost you, you may need to do a little back reading - just a paragraph... click here!
Monday, 20 June 2011
"You want a big what?"
Eldest child: "Thank you for my new Disney clock, Mummy. I love it"
Youngest child (at the top of her voice): "I want a new cock, Mummy. I want a big cock!"
Mummy and daddy: peels of laughter
Youngest child (realising she's said something funny, just not knowing what): "BBBBiiiiiigggggg Coooooccckkk!!!!!!!!"
Eldest child starts mimicking to get in on the act.
Inappropriate shouting continues for a good 2 minutes.
It's a good job we weren't in the middle of the supermarket.
Youngest child (at the top of her voice): "I want a new cock, Mummy. I want a big cock!"
Mummy and daddy: peels of laughter
Youngest child (realising she's said something funny, just not knowing what): "BBBBiiiiiigggggg Coooooccckkk!!!!!!!!"
Eldest child starts mimicking to get in on the act.
Inappropriate shouting continues for a good 2 minutes.
It's a good job we weren't in the middle of the supermarket.
Wednesday, 20 April 2011
Easter Egg Fever!
I've not seen the children for a couple of days.
Any readers that also happen to work for the NHS, and are also accountants, will know that it's a pretty busy week this week. The accounts for the period ending 31st March have to be submitted by 9am tomorrow. Yes, you read that correctly. Tomorrow. Just the 3 week period is allowed in which to pull a full set of accounts together. And so, as a result, the children went on a special adventure to Grandma's house for 3 nights to enable me to work long days.
They loved it of course.
And when I arrived home tonight they ran to me shouting; "Mummy mummy! Yeay, mummy's home...." and so on. It brings a lump to the throat.
Until the youngest followed up with: "Can I have some Easter Egg Chocolate now, mummy?".
Hmmmmmmm....
I did laugh. Priorities eh?!
Any readers that also happen to work for the NHS, and are also accountants, will know that it's a pretty busy week this week. The accounts for the period ending 31st March have to be submitted by 9am tomorrow. Yes, you read that correctly. Tomorrow. Just the 3 week period is allowed in which to pull a full set of accounts together. And so, as a result, the children went on a special adventure to Grandma's house for 3 nights to enable me to work long days.
They loved it of course.
And when I arrived home tonight they ran to me shouting; "Mummy mummy! Yeay, mummy's home...." and so on. It brings a lump to the throat.
Until the youngest followed up with: "Can I have some Easter Egg Chocolate now, mummy?".
Hmmmmmmm....
I did laugh. Priorities eh?!
Monday, 23 November 2009
We'll add it to your Christmas list dear!
Our elder said to her dad, "can I have a car please?"
"I think we'll need to ask Santa Claus" was his swift reply. It was August.
She regularly flicks through the Early Learning catalogue pointing at toys and saying "we've got that", "I want that one, Mummy", "And that one, Mummy". "Got that". "Got that". " I want that one, Mummy". So we started trying to manage her expectations. "If you've been a good girl you might get one or two presents off your list. We'll write a list for Santa when it's nearly Christmas." The delaying tactics seemed to be working, and she'd definately got the idea that she won't get everything she asks for.
It's surprising how much a three year old thinks though. Last week her dad told her that if she's a very very very good girl she'd perhaps get three presents off her list. There was a short pause.
"Daddy", she said in that drawn out way that children have perfected, "if I'm a very very very very good girl, can I have four presents?" Caught by surprise, he laughed.
"Yes dear, if you're a very very very very good girl you may get four presents at Christmas." There was another pause.
"Daddy". She said again.
"Yes".
"If I'm a very very very very very......." He interrupted;
"No!" he said laughing "No more than four presents, because Santa has not got enough room in his sledge."
"Oh!....OK" she said (with amazing acceptance).
Another pause.
"Daddy, if you're a very good boy, will you get presents for Christmas?"
"Yes dear, I hope so".
"You'd like a Barbie wouldn't you Daddy, and then you can share with me."
"I think we'll need to ask Santa Claus" was his swift reply. It was August.
She regularly flicks through the Early Learning catalogue pointing at toys and saying "we've got that", "I want that one, Mummy", "And that one, Mummy". "Got that". "Got that". " I want that one, Mummy". So we started trying to manage her expectations. "If you've been a good girl you might get one or two presents off your list. We'll write a list for Santa when it's nearly Christmas." The delaying tactics seemed to be working, and she'd definately got the idea that she won't get everything she asks for.
It's surprising how much a three year old thinks though. Last week her dad told her that if she's a very very very good girl she'd perhaps get three presents off her list. There was a short pause.
"Daddy", she said in that drawn out way that children have perfected, "if I'm a very very very very good girl, can I have four presents?" Caught by surprise, he laughed.
"Yes dear, if you're a very very very very good girl you may get four presents at Christmas." There was another pause.
"Daddy". She said again.
"Yes".
"If I'm a very very very very very......." He interrupted;
"No!" he said laughing "No more than four presents, because Santa has not got enough room in his sledge."
"Oh!....OK" she said (with amazing acceptance).
Another pause.
"Daddy, if you're a very good boy, will you get presents for Christmas?"
"Yes dear, I hope so".
"You'd like a Barbie wouldn't you Daddy, and then you can share with me."
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