Achieving an ambition and working on the next one!

#100RPM

Today a piece of my fiction is officially published.  It was selected for inclusion in an ebook by author Caroline Smailes and the resulting collection of flash fiction inspired by music is now available on Amazon to download to Kindle or PC.

I am incredibly proud of this.  I've wanted to write ever since I can remember.  I have a cupboard full of poetry and articles, children's stories and part finished novels.  My 'things to do before I'm....' lists have always included "get published".

So I am proud, chuffed and grinning inanely, and not sure whether to leap about the place or simply sit quietly embracing the achievement.

It's an item I can tick off my list.

And what do I do next?  Move on to the next thing on the list of course; and from a writing perspective that's got to be to achieve publication in hard copy format.  A book you can hold.  That was the original ambition.  The Internet's not that old and didn't exist when my publication dream first came into being!

And so, I keep an eye on those emails to see if the publisher that currently has a copy of my brilliant children's story decides they like it; and I continue to work on the novel, and I start to think about approaching magazines or newspapers to sell articles.

Because, you see, despite the fact that I love my day job, writing is something that writers just do; and I can't stop.


Click here for more information about 100RPM and it's publication to raise money for the charity One in Four who supply support and resources to those who have suffered sexual abuse or violence.  Please download it today!

Can you avoid Visible Pantie Line this summer?

River Island Linen Trousers

There is currently an explosion of VPL.  That's Visible Pantie* Line. 

The explosion is a direct result of the kindling provided by white linen trousers.  White linen see-through trousers. 

If you own a pair of these apparent summer staples then I have a very important public service announcement for you: please be informed: they are ALL see through.  Don't be fooled.  They might look OK in the store, or even at home, but get outside in the bright sunshine and they disappear to nothing.

I don't understand why anyone buys these trousers.  Let me tell you what others are thinking when they see you wearing them. 

"Oh look.  White linen trousers.  I bet they are see through.  I'll take a look." Peers surreptitiously at the wearers bottom. "Ahh, I can't see any VPL.  They've avoided that faux pas.  Good for them.  But how?  Hmmm."  Stares some more.  "I can't see any tell tale signs of a tiny g-string at the base of the spine.  They must be going pantless.  Eeuuuuwww."  The wearer happens to turn around.  "Eeeekkkkk, quick keep your eyes up, up, do not, I repeat, do not look at her crotch."

The end results of this appraisal are all just as horrific as each other.  Let me explain

Either we've looked and established you are wearing pants and the VPL is visible to all and therefore I know what underwear you are wearing; or you are wearing pants that are tiny enough to avoid most VPL and therefore I know what underwear you are wearing; or you are not wearing pants and I know that you are not wearing pants and in some cases whether you prefer a Brazilian or not.  I repeat: Eeeeeuuuuuwwww.  In all cases I seriously do not want to know what underwear you are, or are not, wearing; and I certainly don't want to know your hair removal habits.

The current explosion needs to stop, and to stop soon, before I start going up to random white trouser wearers in the street and telling them how it is.  I don't want to turn into some crazy woman raving about underwear in the middle of Jubilee Weekend celebrations. 

So please, please, please stop wearing them. 

And please, you fashion designers you, STOP MAKING THEM!

 
* That's knickers, not trousers, just to be clear.

How can you navigate a children's party with your principles intact?

Party games at children's parties have become something of a pet hate of mine.  Parties have become a battle ground anyway.  A battle of mums to provide the very best; in location, entertainment, music, party bags, games and cake. 

Growing up in the 80s parties were much less fraught with 'keeping up the Jones'.  They were very traditional affairs.  The expectation was limited to a game of pass the parcel, a single balloon with a piece of cake in a party bag, and a dance around to music in your mates lounge.

With a heaving trade in parties at a variety of locations you find yourself trooping off to bowling alleys, ski villages, soft play centres and steam railway centres.  That's to name just a selection of party venues I've taken one or the other of my girls to over the last couple of years.

But where ever you are there usually comes a point where there will be a party game.

When was it, and who was it, that decided that all the children who lost the party game would get treats?  Who decided this?  Since when did we celebrate those that lost more than the one that won?  Along with the usual "it's not the winning, it's the taking part that counts" speech, we are teaching our children to not care about winning?


With the Olympics coming to the UK I'm not sure this is the right message we should be giving.

Soft play centres are the worst offenders in my experience.  A game of pass the parcel deteriorates, as the children that take a layer off the parcel early in the game all receive a sweet, wrapped in the layer of paper they've pulled off.  Those children become uninterested in the game and disappear off to play.  There's no excitement about who is going to get to open the last layer.  It's such a shame.  My abiding memory of the game, the excitement as the parcel approached, and knowing it was nearly the last layer, but not being 100% certain.  Now, since everyone gets a prize, and often all of equal size, it really doesn't matter if you get the last layer, or indeed any layer, as even those that don't get to unwrap usually get to pick a sweet out of a box afterwards.

We've had a few parties at home for our girls and initially we caved to the pressure and wrapped mini presents within the layers, enough for all children, with a slightly bigger one in the final layer.

But I am tempted to rebel.  I am tempted to go back to traditional, nothing in the layers until the end, pass the parcel.  I am tempted to teach our children that they don't always win.  Surely we should teach our children to be competitive and want to win?
 
It was our daughter's 6th birthday this week. What did we choose to do to celebrate?  We went to the cinema with 9 of her friends.  At £1 a ticket, with a little extra for popcorn snack boxes and a party bag each with a little stationary set, balloon and party cake, it didn't break the bank and there was no need for games.  That's one way to side step the issue!  Maybe the rebellion starts next time?!

To iron or not to iron?

I recently discovered that I am something of an oddity.  An alien in the world of mums.  Unusual. Strange.  Some may say even weird.

Why?

Because I still iron clothes.

I'm not sure how this has happened.  I thought I'd become such a let loose - fancy free - maybe even slip shod mother, when I stopped ironing knickers, vests, tea towels, sheets and duvet covers; just one of the tips in my 5 quick ironing tips for busy woman post.  But apparently I am not as relaxed as I thought.  Relative to the mums commenting over on my How do I find the time? post, I am ironing when I need not.

In fact I haven't come across anybody else who irons their husbands shirts yet.  Now I realise this isn't particularly feminist of me; but really it was never about it being 'the womans' job, or otherwise; it was just that I quite enjoy ironing compared to other potential tasks (like mowing the lawn) that we split between us in our husband-wife partnership.  I like it because I can watch television whilst doing it.  So my husband and I have a split of chores and I ended up with this one.

What's interesting now the children are growing up is that the ironing pile always consists of 50% children's clothes (cotton dresses, T-shirts, school uniform shirts etc), 45% mu husbands work shirts and T-shirts and only 5% mine.  Since I don't walk around smelling really ripe (at least, if I did, I hope my friends would tell me quick!) then I'm not entirely sure how this happens!

This week's discovery, that I'm fairly alone in the ironing world, put me off doing it.  It almost made me resent doing it.  Then, today, there was an incident that put me off even further.
 
I managed to knock the board and spill my jug of water on the floor and on the plug extension.  The iron followed, and sat, in the puddle of water, on our wooden floor, steam hissing and bubbling from underneath!  I was slightly freaked; jumped back away from the puddle, screamed at my daughter to stay across the other side of the room, and carefully walked around the board to turn the plug off before catastrophe could hit.

I was shook up.  In a split second I thought I was going to get electrocuted.  And then I thought I was going to burn the house down.  Irrational I know, but I panicked in those seconds.  I put the iron and board away pretty quickly.

Maybe this is a cue to give up ironing entirely?  What do you think?  Is it 'normal' these days? Is everyone else really good at hanging up clothes quickly after drying outside? Or is it natural to just get dressed and let the creases drop out throughout the day?  Do they drop out? Really? I don't trust it... I really don't.... I need help!

Emeli Sande's "Our Version of Events": A Review

When I picture the perfect 'yummy mummy' in my head she is always completely up to date with popular culture, including music.  She listens to the coolest singers and can happily converse with a 15 year old on the subject.

When I became a mum I began to neglect music, so when Mumsnet asked me if I'd be interested in reviewing a new album by Emeli Sande I jumped at the chance.  Let's be honest here; I'd never heard of her.  I know I know, that's really poor isn't it.  Some great artists have sung her songs including Tinie Tempah, Cheryl Cole and The Saturdays.  She was writing songs when she was 11 years old, and turned down a record deal in her teens, preferring instead to finish her exams and begin to study medicine.  This is not just an up and coming singer; this is a songwriter that means business.

The album, Our Version of Events, is a well written selection of songs.  I'd pop the CD in the machine and have those tunes happily rolling away whilst I got on with chores, not unpleasant, but not necessarily stopping me in my tracks or forcing my feet to tap.

"Where I Sleep" is my favourite.  In the interests of being useful I tried to understand why I prefer it to others.  I think because the chorus is a quick to learn, set of lyrics that resonated with me; "And I'm sure of nothing that I know. Except this is us, and this is love, and this is where I'm home".  It reminds me of how lucky I am. 

There were other tunes that I felt would be more suited to an angst-ridden teenager, or indeed anyone in the midst of trying to find their 'one true love'.  I can imagine that you could happily wallow with this album on.  Get the wine and ice cream out, chocolate aplenty.

Is it for me?  I don't think I would have bought this myself.  It's music to a stage of life that I've passed, and I personally prefer my tunes to be a little less serious, a little more fun, with a smile and a wink. 

But that's just my opinion.  And I'm not saying there isn't some catchy stuff on there that I keep finding myself singing ("Next to me-e-e-e-e, woo hoo ooo")

I'm really pleased to have been able to listen to some of 'todays' music.  And I'll be trying to turn on that radio more often.  If this is an example of the quality of music around today, then I have a lot of great music to discover! Maybe I'll be one step closer to my imagined idea of a yummy mummy!

Find out more about Emile at www.emelisande.com

***

I am a member of the Mumsnet Bloggers Network, a group of parent bloggers picked by Mumsnet to review products, services, events and brands.  I have not paid for the product or to attend an event.  I have editorial control and retain full editorial integrity.