Can you avoid Visible Pantie Line this summer?

River Island Linen Trousers

There is currently an explosion of VPL.  That's Visible Pantie* Line. 

The explosion is a direct result of the kindling provided by white linen trousers.  White linen see-through trousers. 

If you own a pair of these apparent summer staples then I have a very important public service announcement for you: please be informed: they are ALL see through.  Don't be fooled.  They might look OK in the store, or even at home, but get outside in the bright sunshine and they disappear to nothing.

I don't understand why anyone buys these trousers.  Let me tell you what others are thinking when they see you wearing them. 

"Oh look.  White linen trousers.  I bet they are see through.  I'll take a look." Peers surreptitiously at the wearers bottom. "Ahh, I can't see any VPL.  They've avoided that faux pas.  Good for them.  But how?  Hmmm."  Stares some more.  "I can't see any tell tale signs of a tiny g-string at the base of the spine.  They must be going pantless.  Eeuuuuwww."  The wearer happens to turn around.  "Eeeekkkkk, quick keep your eyes up, up, do not, I repeat, do not look at her crotch."

The end results of this appraisal are all just as horrific as each other.  Let me explain

Either we've looked and established you are wearing pants and the VPL is visible to all and therefore I know what underwear you are wearing; or you are wearing pants that are tiny enough to avoid most VPL and therefore I know what underwear you are wearing; or you are not wearing pants and I know that you are not wearing pants and in some cases whether you prefer a Brazilian or not.  I repeat: Eeeeeuuuuuwwww.  In all cases I seriously do not want to know what underwear you are, or are not, wearing; and I certainly don't want to know your hair removal habits.

The current explosion needs to stop, and to stop soon, before I start going up to random white trouser wearers in the street and telling them how it is.  I don't want to turn into some crazy woman raving about underwear in the middle of Jubilee Weekend celebrations. 

So please, please, please stop wearing them. 

And please, you fashion designers you, STOP MAKING THEM!

 
* That's knickers, not trousers, just to be clear.

Sexy Thermal Underwear!? The search continues....

You'll be pleased to hear that I haven't abandoned the cause.  I am still on the search for sexy thermal lingerie.  In my original post I gave a few stockists for you to try.  Here are a few more.

The best so far come from Marks and Spencers (M&S). I can't believe this is the case and am gutted I haven't found anything better, but despite my childish need to rebel against the store my mum used to buy my pants and vests from, they do indeed do comfort very well.

Coming a close second are Figleaves.com.  My new favourite on line store for all things pretty and girlie.  When you buy from this store the goods come lovingly wrapped in tissue paper.  Lovely.

Finally John Lewis are fighting their corner.  I hadn't thought to search their site until I was reminded of their greatness by their recent Christmas advert.  A quick search later and I realise they are giving M&S a run for their money.

The thing is... although all these thermals look comfy, the general consensus by manufacturers seems to be that a little bit of lace round the neck of a camisole is all we need to turn warm comfort into sexy.

It's still not really doing it for me.  And I'm not alone.  There is even a facebook group called "Lap dancers are needing sexy thermal lingerie".  Whilst I am not a lap dancer, I empathise with their plight.

It's so bad I couldn't even find an appropriate picture for use with this post! 

Come on you manufacturers!  Get working on it!

If you like this, you might also like:
Thermal Lingerie? Hot vs Hot?

Wearing Pyjamas on the school run - I'm not proud

OK, I admit it. I didn't technically get dressed this morning. But I stress the 'technically'. It's not like I had my best lingerie on; baby doll nightie's don't sit well with blue noses in this wintry weather, and I wouldn't want to freak out the local Lollipop man.

But I did leave my comfy Canterbury of New Zealand jogging bottoms on. I didn't bother with a bra, and with my big blue coat, snow boots and scarf, who really noticed?

I though I said in the title that I'm not proud, actually, I have realised that I am pretty proud of myself.  Obviously not for helping the cause (it's definitely not one of my yummiest mummy moments, particularly as I haven't yet mentioned that I didn't even brush my hair. OK, I'm ashamed at that bit. I apologise profusely and ask for Santa's forgiveness).

I am proud that, by getting my daughter to school on time, despite appearances, I put her education before my vanity. And frankly, I think I consider that fairly yummy in itself.

What do you think? Is it ever OK to be so ungroomed at the school gate!

Thermal Lingerie!? Hot vs Hot?

Hot (Sexy) versus Hot (Warm and Cozy)

This week the temperature has suddenly dropped.  Our central heating has jumped into action and my skin is already starting to dry out when faced with such a radiator warmed atmosphere and sudden plunges into 5 degree Celsius weather when stepping outside.  (Find winter skin care tips and beauty bargains here)

And I am faced with an ultimate challenge.  A challenge which, two years ago, contributed to me starting this blog in the first place.  The challenge of being yummy.

It's cold.  At 11pm it's particularly cold because our heating is programmed to turn itself down to 10 degrees Celsius (frost protection) on the assumption that we are usually tucked up in bed by this time, with appropriate quilts, blankets and hot water bottles as required.

So how do I get sexy, or even begin to feel sexy, when the only nightwear that appears to exist for this time in the year is the most unflattering kind ever!  And not only are the pjs that are available not particularly sexy unless adorning model size women; on me, who reaches the heady height of 5 foot 6, standard sizes look ridiculous after a couple of wears, as the legs creep up to hover around my ankles.  I look like the most un-sexy individual you can imagine.  Wrapped up in ill-fitting pjs and an over sized thick woollen dressing gown.

So I figured I'd do a search for "thermal lingerie".  I thought that it must exist...  I assumed it includes lycra, and probably still leaves the legs to fend for themselves.  But maybe, just maybe, I could get hold of a comfortable nightie or slip that includes a bit of that fabulous technology that makes it warm.

My favourite site (La Senza) quickly returned a 'zero' result to my search.  The top result on Google was SkiMania, a site, which as the name suggests, provides thermals for use whilst skiing, not for turning up the heat in the bedroom, unless you are into black ill fitting all-in-ones.   

I was, however, pleasantly surprised by the offerings at Belladinotte  who have thermal camisoles that actually also include a touch of lace.  Page dutifully bookmarked.

But that was it.  I rejected the next 10 offerings off Google and was unsurprisingly fed up.  It cannot be that hard (and won't be with these being the only offerings) so why is it so difficult?

When La Senza release a range of nighties, pjs, corsets that all include the word 'thermal' in their description then sign me up.  I will be first in the queue.  Until then.... well.  I'd better fill the kettle for the hot water bottle and plan not to get out of bed....

Anyone know any other suppliers?

If you like this, you can follow the continued search for sexy thermals here.

Another Bra trauma! And a few yummy mummy tips...

I'm off to a Hen do this weekend and, though I already know which dress I'd like to wear, I seem to have yet another bra trauma!  My two favourite La Senza bras may both be out of action.  Eeek.   The under wires are attempting an escape from the white bra.  The needle and cotton will have to come out tonight to attempt to reign them back in.  And the nude bra is, all of a sudden, starting to pinch at one side.  Since I've actually lost weight recently, I'm slightly confused by that.

My dress choice will, unfortunately, depend on which bra I can get back in operation, as it's a halterneck dress.  I know. I know.  What is it with me and halterneck clothes?  But they do seem to suit me.  Maybe I should have been around in the 50s for all those halterneck rock n roll dresses!

A few tips for yummy mummies everywhere today;

• Even if you've 'never' before wore make up, try it!  Clarins' True Radiance Foundation is my saviour.  I throw it on just like sun cream (no technical skills required!)  Just that, and a splash of mascara, and I'm transformed from blotchy scary woman to perfectly acceptable woman.
• Even if you rarely get two minutes to yourself like me; try and find an hour every couple of months to go and get pampered.  Even if it's just a manicure!  Suddenly you feel so much more yummy.
• Use 'Nice n Easy' at home to cover those greys.  £5 from your local pharmacy, compared to £50 for a colour and blow dry at most hair salons!

The Bra Saga Continues........

Ok, so I´m resigned to the wierd hooks that we universally use to adjust our bras. But I´ve beaten them. Or they´ve beaten me. Depends on your point of view! I´m wearing standard bras, under little vests, with the halterneck dresses on top. It´s layering used to effect. And it´ll certainly do for now.

Or at least it would do. If it weren´t for the fact that my favourite two bras (same design, different colours, La Senza), hadn´t both decided to pop their respective wires out within a day of each other.

And before you say it... I know. I´ll just have to avoid wearing those underwired styles.

But I love those underwired styles. I only stayed out of those underwired styles for my two bouts of pregnancy and breastfeeding, just as recommended. And as soon as I could, I was back in them.

And why should I have to avoid them? Is it that difficult to design some that retain their wires for a certain guaranteed period. Perhaps they could sell them on that basis. You know..... like cars.... guaranteed for three years, or they´ll replace for free.

Maybe the world is against me wearing bras at all! I hope not. I´m not eighteen or a full-time dancer anymore!

My Bra is driving me crazy!

This week I have learnt that; in order to be a Yummy Mummy; a decent bra is paramount. I have bought a couple of new summer maxi dresses. Yes, I know. This is my pathetic attempt at being on-trend, and vaguely with-it, this summer.

My problem is simple. Both of these new purchases require non-standard bra fittings. I have a multiway bra, so I figured that this wouldn´t be a problem. I couldn´t have been more wrong.

Last time I used the bra in question it was in the usual style. So, last night, I´m sat there, one year old fidgetting next to me, trying to unhook one of the straps, in order to reattach it to the other strap, to create the halterneck.

Ten minutes it took me. Just to undo it. Another ten to ram it into the other slot. Only to discover, once I finally got the thing on, and thrown the dress over the top, that the dress I´d opted for actually wasn´t a proper halterneck, and had a partial back in it. I needed to adjust the straps again, to cross-over at the back. Ok, so that was my mistake. But being constantly distracted is a usual state of being for most mummys. So surely the bra should be designed with ease of use in mind?

More fiddling....

By this time, the one year old had had enough, was bored, and was trying to pull the bra out of my hands whilst I´m trying to fix the thing back together. That made it easier.....

My question today is this. Who invented those bra hooks that look like they will easily just slot in and out, but actually, because of the thickness of the material involved, and the extreme hook shape, require pliers just to get them on and off?

And in what world do yummy mummy´s actually have the time to be messing about with them?

It´s just a thought, but press-studs anyone?