Wednesday, 4 July 2012

How do we motivate ourselves when we are not appreciated?


Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
There are plenty of management books, courses, tools and research into motivation.  What motivates a person to work well?  From Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (see left), to Frederick Herzberg's Motivational Theory,  we talk about rewards, monetary or otherwise, and their impact on motivation. 

It's well known that when an employee feels that they are not appreciated, their work quality suffers.

But as a parent, where's the reward?  It's not as tangible as a payslip, or bonus.  It doesn't take the form of monthly one-to-one sessions where you receive feedback on your performance; nor annual performance appraisals.  It doesn't come as a regular thank you.

In fact, taking you for granted is actually a key role for your children.  They need to feel that they can rely on you, always, without question. 

And, of course, you are not always their friend.  As their parent you are responsible for looking out for them, feeding them, clothing them, educating them.  You are also responsible for teaching them right from wrong, morals and ethics, how to be intrinsically good.  These lessons are not always welcomed.  They often take the form of stopping your child doing fun things, like eating mountains of sweets, or climbing up the dresser or staying up all night. 

Treat time
So; although you know, in your heart, that they love you.  They often don't treat you that well.

And so it came to pass, that after a day being dropped off at Grandma's before school, and being picked up from school by Grandma to play for a bit, my daughter did not react favourably to my arrival at 4.30pm to take her home.

I walked in the door.  She took one look at me.

Hurrumphed. (If that is indeed a word).

Stomped her foot and exclaimed "I don't want to go home".

And so here I am; immediately the 'bad cop'.  No welcome.  No hello from her. Certainly no kiss.

It got worse.

As we arrived home she said;

"I want Grandma to be my mummy.  You and Daddy can go and live at Grandma's house and she can live here".

A knife through my heart.

And I know what you'll say.  She was tired out.  Grandma let's her do things I don't.  Grandma can play without having to get the chores done, as she saves those until the girls come back home.  Grandma is able to be more fun.

And I know she loves me. But boy, oh boy, I considered, for just one second, handing in my notice at work just so she didn't have to go to Grandmas and maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't fee so guilty.  After all, I feel guilty enough most of the time; the press don't help with these kind of suggestions.

She gave me feedback; and thus my motivation is low.  No mothering bonus for me this year. 

What kind of feedback do your children give you?  Is it positive? Negative? A mixture? 

How do you get motivated?  

Click Comments below and let me know what you think.

 

Monday, 2 July 2012

Out of the mouths of babes (July 2012): Willies & Pirates

outofthemouthsofbabesMy younger daughter is now 3 years old.  I envy the things that she gets away with saying.

"You've got a big tummy mummy.  Like Mr Greedy!"  Gee, thanks love. And no; I'm not pregnant, just suffering from post holiday weight gain.  Thanks for reminding me.

"Our cousin can stand up to do his wee wee.  I can do that too."
"No dear, you can't.... No. Sit down please dear." Starts to panic "Really, love, sit down! You've got nothing to aim with!"  How did I further explain this?  "You know the water squirters we played with on holiday, that you can point and aim at whoever you want to splash?  Well your cousin has a willy that he can point and aim with.  But you don't.  If you try and do it standing up, it'll just run down your legs."  Her response?  "That's not fair! I want one"

"Dog's aren't pets, mummy".
"Yes they are dear."
"No they're not. They are dogs."

And her current favourite jokes:
1. "What's a pirate's favourite shop?   Aaaaaarrrrrrgos."
2. "What's Dora's favourite shop?  Boots."
3. "What's a cow's favourite shop?  Mooooooo"  (No I don't get this one; but she thinks it's hilarious!)

My children make me cry laugh every day, and I guess that yours do to!  So if you have a blog, then join in the Out of the mouths of babes linky below and share your stories with us.

Now grab a cuppa, unplug the phone, and enjoy the posts as they are added!  Whilst you are waiting for them, here is June's edition for your giggling pleasure! Out of the mouths of babes (June 2012)

Instructions

1.  Grab my button and paste it at the top or bottom of your post, to enable readers to get back to the main list.  (Please let me know if the code doesn't work.  I'm still a little new at this and nervous about copy/paste!)


outofthemouthsofbabes


2.  Publish your post on your blog.
3.  Add your post URL to the Linky tool below and watch your post appear as if by magic to the main list.

Thanks for sharing!

Strawberry flavoured straws to make strawberry milk: Brilliant!

Packing for your holiday?

Wondering how to take a little piece of home with you to comfort the children? 

Our two girls have always loved milk. When you are breastfeeding it's easy enough to take your supply on holiday with you.  But when you are bottle feeding, or they've moved onto full fat cows milk, taking milk that they will drink on holiday makes for a heavy set of cases.

When the younger was 10 months old we took her and her older sister abroad for our summer holidays.  Because she was still drinking follow-on milk we took cartons of it with us along with bottles, sterilisers and bottle warmers. I survived with the smallest collection of clothes you've ever seen and actually had to wash underwear whilst on holiday.  I hate that.  The things you do when you have children!

And now; when the two girls are 6 and 3 years old respectively, I find myself packing strawberry flavoured straws, because recently they have moved onto milk with additional strawberry or vanilla flavouring added.  Just like you can add blackcurrent cordial to water, you can now add strawberry, vanilla or chocolate flavouring to milk. My girls love it.  At home it comes in bottles, just like cordial, so I didn't intend to take any with me.  But then, my husband discovered these straws.

He found them in Sainsburys.  They are plastic straws that have been pinched at each end; just enough to hold in small pink balls of flavouring; but not enough to stop the ability to suck milk through the straw.  So you simply take a straw out of the packet of five, pop it in your milk and drink through it.  The milk picks up the flavour as it passes through the straw.  I have no idea what ingredients are in them and I strongly suspect it's not the healthiest collection of ingredients ever.  But I'm under no illusions; these are a treat.

Very clever; and a lovely way to bring a little piece of home to our holiday breakfasts.  They don't take up much room in the case either! More room for maxi-dresses!


This is not a sponsored post.  It is purely me, sharing the products I love!  I have received no benefits or payment to recommend this product.