Is there an actual magazine for real women?

20 years ago I used to regularly buy women's magazines.  Cosmopolitan, Red, Company, Elle.  I've bought all of these and more on many occasions.  But as I got older I become less and less enamoured by them.

None of them now talk to me.

On my latest summer holiday I thought I'd pick up a magazine to read on the plane.  A quick look through them in the shop told me they hadn't changed in 20 years.  Still as irrelevant to me - in fact more so!

And I wonder whether there's a huge gap in the market here? Are there loads of people like? Or am I just really weird?  You be the judge.  I'll tell you why I don't like them...

Clothes sizing: Why can the fashion industry not get this right?

Unintentional clones

If you were to wake up randomly in a park or playground, having lost your power of hearing, in my opinion you could still pretty quickly work out if you had landed in the UK despite not being able to hear the language being spoken.

How?  Just a quick glance at the fashions being sported by the mums.

As with any culture built by humans with an innate need to fit in, we have developed different uniforms for different roles in society.  In England the uniform is fairly clear for a trip to the park with the kids.  If you are less than a UK size 12 and therefore can get away with skinny skins, or Jeggings,  these will be your uniform of choice.  Combined with a fairly snug Tee, or a fitted smock top (the sort that look like a mini dress but are worn with leggings.)

However, you might, like me, be unable to find a pair of skinny jeans or Jeggings that actually fit your hips.  You may, after all, have hips, and an hourglass figure, that the manufacturers of fashion often forget exist.  For you, the trip will, despite your better intentions, probably result in the Sweats uniform.  You'll have plenty of pairs of sporty tracksuit bottoms from all the good intentions of joining and subsequently not attending the gym.  Add a bland v-necked T-shirt and you can kid yourself that everyone will assume you have come straight from Yoga class to the park.  

Tesco Express chooses bureaucratic nonsense over common sense

 
I was refused service in Tesco Express last Tuesday.  Was I causing trouble? No. I was attempting to purchase a bottle of Rose to take away on a half term jaunt to Manchester.  My friend already had a bottle of white with her, but I am a massive Rose fan at the moment, so I wanted to take one with me.

The lady serving on the tills asked me for ID.  It's a good job I wasn't drinking anything at the time with the spluttering I did. 

"Sorry?" I said, thinking I had misheard.
"Do you have any photo ID?" she repeated.

"Er, no. I don't tend to carry my driving license about." I said, rummaging through my purse, yet knowing it was futile. 

"I can't serve you if you haven't" she said.
I laughed, half still thinking it was a joke. "But I am " (cupping my hand furtively round my mouth and whispering) "37!".

" Sorry" she says. "But now I've asked you I can't serve you unless you have photo ID.

"Seriously?" I said  (I know.  I was so stunned I couldn't even speak properly.)


So I returned to the car, which my friend had already began to pull out of its space, thinking I'd jump in and off we'd go.  The car containing all five of the children my friend and I were taking on our trip.
"They won't serve me" I said incredulously. She laughed, thinking I was joking.
"What?"
"They won't serve me because I don't have ID"

She laughed a little too hard frankly (wink)
"Do you want me to get it?" she said.
"Er"  I felt fairly ridiculous at this stage.  "Yes please!"


She reversed the car back into its space, got out, took the money off me and strode into the store.  I could see her through the window.  She went to the till and had a discussion with the lady on the till.


Then she returned to the car.  Without the wine.

"What happened?" I said.
"They refused me too." she said.
"Why?" 
"Because they think I'll give it to you!"

Now I was somewhat buoyed up by this little adventure.  And feeling very smug about my newly found youthful good looks I told my husband the story on my return home.

"Oh yes" he said, "I've read about this.  I heard that they refused a pensioner too, even though she showed her pension book".

Thanks for the vote of confidence love!  So it's not quite my youthful good looks after all.  It turns out that some stores have gone ID crazy.  They have told their staff to 'always' ask, and to refuse service if photo ID isn't presented.  Check out the story about the pensioner (93 years old) here.  Yes I know the source of the story isn't particularly known for its honest journalism, but still, I am proof that this craziness exists.

I thought about it a lot.  I considered that yes, it was possible that some kids might be sophisticated enough to pop on some stage makeup and make themselves up 'older' to buy alcohol.  But surely, if that is your worry, you set up a serious of quick and easy questions that only those over age would know.  For example; where does Marty live?* Or where are Salt n Pepper?**  Or who should Molly Ringwald have got together with in the first place in Pretty in Pink?***  That at least gives you more data to decide if you really want to go the route of asking for that ID.  Answers below, and if you knew them you are closer to 40 than you'd like to admit!

Always asking for ID assumes you have employees with no common sense at all.  At Tesco Express.  Hmmm?  What do you think?

Tesco Customer Services information here.

Answers
* Hill Valley.  
** Here.
*** Ducky.  (Gives a whole new perspective on "Two and a Half Men")

If you want to find out what happened next on the train trip to Manchester (2 mums and 5 children!) click here.
And for our adventures once we got to Manchester, click here.
And for the censorship we had to consider on the train back, click here!

Maternity Wear: the dos, don'ts and where to find it!

 

Buying new stuff!

If you do opt to buy some new pieces to supplement your wardrobe when you are pregnant, ideally you want to select items that could feasibly be worn after the pregnancy too.  Especially if your budget is tight. 

This means selecting tops that are long and floaty, ideal for covering the bump, but equally pretty afterwards; better yet, select wrap around styles in which you can show off your bump, but which will work equally well sans bump. 

 

There's another reason I am not a fan of the tent dress; nor indeed tent tops.  Wearing tops like this; that drop from the extreme edge of your bump straight down; actually make it more difficult for the average person to judge if indeed you are pregnant, or have just been eating generously.  I firmly believe it is these tops that cause the most confusion.   

Once I was happy for everyone to know, (after the 12 weeks point)  I preferred to make it quite obvious that I was pregnant, with tops that wrap around, preferably with an empire-line.

 

Next's Black Hem top, for example, is a lovely top, that could be worn whether pregnant or not.  But it 'tents', so I'm not personally a fan after the first few weeks.

Next's Pink Breastfeeding wrap top is better, not only because it shows off the bump, but also because it is then perfect for breastfeeding.

I link to these Next tops as an example, but also because Next have a good range of maternity wear – particularly for working women.  As well as a handy Maternity 'Sizing' guide here.

I don't know about you, but during my first pregnancy I thought you had to go up a size in clothes.  Actually, unless you are putting weight on all over (like I did for the first, but not for the second) you stick with your usual dress size, just in 'maternity wear'.  

This obviously doesn't stop you buying non-maternity clothes that fit the bill in whatever size happens to fit at that point!

For the full Next range click here.

Other great maternity wear suppliers include:

Online: 

Isabella Oliver

Tiffany Rose 

Crave Maternity

Asos

Simply be

Asda direct

High Street:

New Look

Dorothy Perkins

Top shop

Mothercare

John Lewis

And it's always worth checking out charity shops, as maternity wear is worn for such a short time, it often has plenty of wear left in it!  

Second hand baby wear stores often include Maternity wear too, for example;
Lilypad4kids in Derbyshire
Maternity Exchange

But do you have to go out and buy a new wardrobe?  In these financially challenging times, when disposable income is decreasing, can you afford to buy a new wardrobe?  And what if you can't? 

Pop back next week for a post on 'Making do' with what you've got.

January Sales?... have already started!

So when do the January Sales start?

I thought I'd do a quick list of dates for your diaries to pick up a few bargain outfits, but the first couple of high street shops I checked already appear to be in full sale mode.  It's no surprise.  The high streets appear to have been desperate for our custom.  My inbox has been full of daily reminders of how much I could still save and get my goods before Christmas.  But now that option is dead.  No more deliveries can be guaranteed.  And I am preparing to hit the sales after the big day.

So what can I expect?  More of the same by the looks of it, and hopefully even more!

Next have everything half price or less

Clarks have up to 50% off  selected styles

Debenhams already have up to half price on thousands of items

La Senza already have a half price sale on

River Island is already in sale mode

Miss Selfridges already have up to 70% off selected items

Gap already have up to 60% off selected items

House of Frazer are equally already in sale mode.

John Lewis's sale starts online at 5pm on Saturday 24th December (That's Christmas Eve!) and in shops from Tuesday the 27th December.  This was the only site to show a clear date for the crazy shopping to begin.  I do so love them!

Keep everything safe on the beach, and still look stylish! Canvas Beach Bag

I rarely buy much at Boots other than the annual pot of Clarins moisturiser and top-up mascaras, I’ve mentioned before how much of a non-girly girl I really am, and of course it’s the only place I seem to be able to get hold of the photo albums I like, as I’m of the pre-photobook generation.  But recently I have made a great Boots purchase.  

I live in a pretty small town, and Boots was going to be one of only a handful of shops I was going to be able to buy some new swimwear for the summer, but of course I was making this shopping expedition in the first week of August.

With the benefit of hindsight I can see how those fashion savvy readers will be thinking ‘What the!’ since it transpires that August is actually the last time you can expect to buy swimwear in the shops. Apparently we are supposed to make these purchases three months in advance in March. Shops in August stock knitwear, wellington boots and other general autumn fair.  I understand that this would be fine for those equally blessed fashion followers who happen to have a static body shape. But I’m shopping for me, someone who has two infant children, and has varied success at actually getting any exercise.

My body size moves from a size 10 to a size 14 depending on what shop I’m in within the same day, further aggravated by the swinging body size resulting from events like Christmas and year-end accounts time (ask any accountants you know about that and watch them reach for the chocolate).

So the shopping trip was pretty unsuccessful when it came to buying any swimwear. I wanted a full swimsuit as well, not a bikini. Ha! Boots had roughly four different designs still in stock, all not to my taste and another couple of designs which I liked, but turned out to be maternity ones.

So I browsed the rest of their dwindling summer fair and spotted a lovely navy, white and red beach bag.


The design attracted me initially, but when I investigated further I discovered that it had a feature that I personally hadn’t seen before. The bag had an inner drawstring lining, meaning you could throw all sorts of stuff in it, pull the string, let the inner bag fall inside the outer bag, and have a beach bag that wasn’t going to spill all your suncream, sunglasses, kids swimming nappies, wipes, mobile etc all over the sand.

I’ve checked, but it doesn’t look like you can buy Boot’s summer stuff online (oddly), so you’ll just have to look out for similar designs like this one and be smug when you’re all ready for summer!

Tried and tested. I love it.  Photos finally added... If anyone knows where one can buy these on line this year please post the link in a comment.. Thanks!

Going to Disneyland Paris? Tips for Survival!

Don't.  And I'm going to repeat that for effect, even though it doesn't work nearly as well written as it does said. Don't, buy any clothes for your children, from Disneyland Paris, without trying them on first.

I'd promised myself that we'd buy a new princess dress for our Cheeky Monkey No. 1 while we were there.  The first shock was the price.  They cost roughly 59Euros with the smallest sizes sometimes, but not always, cheaper, and for those of you still trying to work that out in your head it's £52 or $86.  So it's not something to buy while you're there if you can really help it.  They are definitely cheaper at home.

However, I didn't know this, and had 'promised myself', so I figured 'Carpe Diem' and let her pick her favourite.  She picked the Rapunzel dress unsurprisingly, and I picked up a size 6 (meaning '6 years old') to try on.  She's nearly 5yrs old, and I figured that if I'm going to spend the money, I want her to get some wear out of it before it's too small.

 The size 6 was just right.  And I mean 'just right'.  So knowing my daughter she'd grow out of it within a week.  And frankly, after a large bowl of pasta, it would have been tight around the middle!

So we picked the next size up to try.  It was probably only about an inch, if that, wider around the middle, and was now just above the floor.  Any bigger and she'd be tripping over it.  And what size was it exactly?  An 8.  My 4 year old daughter was in a dress supposedly designed for an 8 year old!?

I similarly ended up with a size 6 for my 2 year old.

I should point out in the strongest terms that I don't have round children!  They are probably slightly smaller than average if anything.

So beware, and try on first.

Having said all that, she looked absolutely gorgeous!  Have fun!

Wedding Shoes.... and shopping with the Cheeky Monkeys!

Firstly I would like to apologise for my disappearance for the last 10 days.  I have been involved in one of those seemingly neverending whirlwinds of work, chores, notenoughsleep, food shopping, cooking, Christmas shopping, eating, work, chores.....

And, more excitingly, in the middle of it all, my sister got married this week.  My 2 girls were both bridesmaids (oh my, could they be any cuter?!) And I was the Matron of Honour.  Luckily I have a very good relationship with my sister, meaning that she didn't feel the need to publicly embarrass me by insisting I wear some hideous bridesmaid blamange.  Since, as previous posts would no doubt have suggested, I am somewhat lacking in sartorial elegance, I therefore had to have more than one shopping trip with both my sister and my mum, in which a variety of dresses, from traditional tent, to modern mini, were tried on. It was great fun and we found a beautiful navy empire line that looked divine.  My problem was then obvious.   Shoes.

Since we've established I have a large collection of shoes, it came as a surprise to discover that I had nothing, and I do mean nothing, that would go with this dress.  Navy shoes don't particularly feature in my wardrobe, and the one pair that I did have were summer wedges.  It just didn't work.  So I went on more shopping trips, one particular Saturday trying on every Navy pair of shoes that the shops in Meadowhall stock.   And as, inevitably is the case in this modern world, I gave up and ended up buying a pair on ebay for £11.

So.  It's the week before the wedding.  I've had my final dress fitting, and so the length of the dress is now based on my new shoes.  The Bride seems relaxed.  Everything is all ready.  I decide to pop my new shoes on, to try them out.  Wear them in a bit.

They rub my feet. 

Not a lot.  But they do.  Panic sets in.  I don't know what to do.  So I end up dragging my long-suffering hubby and both children for a trip to Meadowhall (A shopping mall in the Midlands) on a Sunday afternoon. In October.  When the Students are back and Christmas shopping has started in earnest.  It's packed.  5 shops in, and Cheeky Monkey No. 1 is flagging.  2 hours later, just as I decide to give up (hubby has suggested I wear the ebay shoes for the ceremony and pictures, and then quickly swop them for my sliver dancing shoes, and the plan, seen in light of the grumpy faces of my family, seems sound) I spotted New Look and, though Meadowhall New Look is not where you go if you want customer service (most of the staff there are under 18 and clearly not in the slightest bit interested in the customer's needs above their need to gossip)  I decided to give it a chance.

Turns out they had more than one pair in the Navy I wanted, lots that were two high, and 2 pairs that looked like they might just do the trick.  One of which they didn't have in my size, and the other was a 'wider fit' pair.  I bought the latter (can't go wrong for £20) figuring that, for one day, I'd prefer a 'wider fit' than a blister-covered heel.

I guess it wouldn't be me if there wasn't some sort of clothing dilemma!  I ended up swopping the New Look shoes for my silver dancing shoes after the photos anyway....That wider-fit made them too loose.

So what's the tip here then?  I guess it's simple.  Never, ever, wear new shoes for a wedding, unless they are Rainbow shoes (specifically designed for weddings - very very very comfortable).  And certainly don't wear £11 or £20 shoes without wearing them alot before hand. 

And never, ever, drag your family round the shops when there's pressure to find the perfect item.  It's not good for anyone.

It seems that parenting, more often than not, boils down to 'organisation' and 'preparation'.  Plan it.  Plan it early.  Because you just don't have the luxury of time on your side.

P.S.  The Bride looked absolutely beautiful.  Congratulations!

It should definitely be Scatty Mummy!

I'm still trying to get the stain off my favourite shoes......

We took the girls out for a meal at the local 'Inn' on Saturday lunch. The 'Inn' at Troway do great British food, brilliant offerings for the children (they eat free on weekdays), and have colouring books, crayons, reading books, jigsaws etc, to keep them entertained whilst you wait for the freshly cooked food to arrive.

My youngest, Lottie, is helpfully starting to tell us when her nappy needs changing. Repeating "nappy, nappy, nappy" tends to do the trick. She is also starting to say "wee-wee". And on Saturday I realised that she was trying to tell us she needed to go before she actually did. It caught me by surprise, but I thought, well she's young, but she has been copying her big sister recently, so perhaps potty training will be faster for her and easier for me. We can always hope.

So I whipped her out of her high chair, and scuttled off to the toilet with her. She was really good. She tried to help with her trousers, pulled down her pull-up nappy, and when I sat her on the toilet she grinned, and started to go.

Brilliant! I thought. For roughly a second. It took that long for me to notice that I hadn't sat her far enough on the toilet. Her "wee-wee" was all over the seat, all over the floor and all over my feet.

This is definitely why Jimmy Choos just don't go with children. And why I have such difficulty finding yummy clothes, shoes, bags and jewelry that are child-proof, or at the very least, easily washable!

Or should it be Scatty Mummy?

It's no surprise that there's a general consensus that having children kills off your brain cells. Particularly if other Mummies have the same kind of daily experiences as me.

Today I hit the shops with the elder, 4yrs, in tow. Not wanting to browse around, as she was getting tired, and was likely to run down the aisles any minute, I asked a male sales assistant, where I could find the waterproof mattress protectors.

He duly led the way across the store to the correct section and I, trying to steer my daughter in the correct direction behind him, followed.  The elder immediately hid behind a display. I had to do the quick telling off, look up again, clock the sales assistant and continue following him.

He headed straight for the tills. He got in behind one of the tills. I stood next to the till. And he looked up and said, "Can I help you?".

I looked at him. Carefully. Thought about it. And turned around. Another sales assistant was stood slightly further back in the shop looking at me with a confused expression on his face.

I had, of course, managed to follow the wrong sales assistant after telling my daughter off.

You could have fried eggs on my face. Not a good look.

A very timid mummy followed the original sales assistant to the correct side of the shop for my mattress protectors, and tried to protest my innocence... mumbling about uniforms, etc... I didn't help myself.

Hence my apparent evidence in support of the brain cell theory. Doesn't 'distraction by a 4yr old' count as a defence?

Shopping with a Toddler and a Baby!

This is the first of hopefully many blogs designed to pass on some of the tricks I’ve picked up over the last three years. I know that you probably get more than enough advice from family and friends. Quite often from people you don’t even know (that drives me bananas). So this isn’t intended to be preachy, or patronising, or judgemental, I just figure that if I can save you some time and stress then that’s great.

Last weekend we all went out together to do the weekly grocery shop. My hubby, the two girls and I all trouped off, with our boot full of reusable carrier bags, to the local supermarket. Now I must make it very clear right from the start; if I can do the weekly shopping on my own then I will, but it’s rare. More often I manage to do it with just my 11 month old. After all, she sits happily strapped in the trolley and smiles at all the other customers. She’s no trouble. But as they get older they get less interested in the shopping experience and it’s harder to strap them down! So; only if I have my hubby’s help; do we all go.

Today we had three tricks up our sleeves to keep our eldest happy. The first; we were hoping to snag one of the very rare and very sought after ‘car’ trolleys. This is a special trolley that doubles as a little car for the toddler to sit in. It has a steering wheel with a car horn in the middle that beeps. There’s a strap, and the seat’s big enough for dolly to sit in as well. And your shopping ends up in baskets over their heads and behind them, so they can’t start squishing the crisp packets, or worse, the eggs. Our second trick was to take a little yellow post-it with six pictures on it courtesy of my artistic talents (there’s irony there, trust me). The pictures were of bagels, bananas, honey nut loop cereals, milk, FiFi pasta and cucumbers. It was a selection of grocery items specifically chosen for their position around the store (evenly spaced out) and my ability to draw them.

Our eldest was delighted when she perched herself in her little car and I handed her a special shopping list that she was responsible for. She’s at an age where she loves to help. So, every time she seemed to be getting a little distracted, or trying to jump out of the car I’d say, “What’s next on your list love? Have you seen the bananas yet? Where do you think they are?” It’s amazing how quickly they lose interest in the toy aisle when you’ve bombarded them with questions and steered into the fruit aisle, where they spot the next sought after item on their list. Getting overly exciting about their find is of course a must. Well, you don’t think you can get away without acting in a slightly embarrassing manner with children in tow, do you?

Our third and final trick is to provide her with food. We allowed her to eat a bagel on the way round. We always do this and it’s brilliant. Eating something they love (yet isn’t ridiculously messy or bad for them) is a brilliant way to deal with their short attention span during a shopping trip, and it deals with snack time as well.

So the shopping got done. Eldest was praised immediately afterwards, later at teatime, and again at bedtime, for her helpfulness during the shopping trip. I don’t believe you can overhype good behaviour enough. And she had a lovely day with no tantrums.

The downside is that these car trolleys don’t have a baby seat on them, so you can’t use them if you’re on your own with a toddler and a baby. So when I’m on my own I take her own mini shopping trolley with us. She walks round pushing her trolley, collecting her items, and I push the youngest round in my trolley. At least if the eldest's got a trolley to look after she’s less likely to run off....? Well, anything’s worth a try.

Good luck shopping!