Painful groynes: a day at Bournemouth beach

This is the third of a series of posts based on our crazily busy holiday down in Bournemouth and Slough.  Yes, you heard that correctly; Slough.  We've had an intense week of family days out; it's cost us far too much, but we've had an absolutely ball.  Sleep is high on the agenda this week.

I am publishing the posts that were drafted during the trip over the next few weeks between other yummy musings.  The first one: Sandy Balls is here and the second; Wet Bottoms: A review of Peppa Pig World is here.  Enjoy the series.  If you don't want to miss a thing you can subscribe by email over on the right hand panel, or follow on Facebook or Twitter.

Day three: Painful groynes - a day at Bournemouth beach

The theme for our holiday so far appears to be unusual and slightly sniggersome (if it's not a word, then it should be) place names.  The fact that there are also signs warning people not to bump their feet on the groynes on Bournemouth beach was suitably in keeping with the holiday so far!

We wandered down the pier (you have to pay to do that!  I was shocked!  Only 60p, but still!)

 

 

 

We made sandcastles and collected shells.

 

 

 

We had Harry Ramsden's for lunch, sat in a window seat with the beach and sea providing a beautiful view.  Our younger daughter was particularly impressed that her request for a bucket of chips (she was joking) was honoured, and a bucket duly arrived!
A ride on the mini train along the sea front... lovely opportunity to nosey at the design of the beach huts.
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A quick go on the park at the other end, a return journey back past the beach huts and a quick go on the bouncy castle, before a lovely wander through the park and past the balloon and bandstand....

 

 

A perfect English seaside day.

We parked at the car park next to the pier.  The train ride is £2 per adult (over 5s) single. It was £3 per child for 5 minutes on the bouncy castle. If you fancy a day at the beach, you can't get much better than this.

I NEED THE TOILET DADDY!

We are at the seaside and my hubby has taken the eldest out to swim in the sea. 

It's a lovely large sandy beach and the water is not particularly deep and it stays so for quite a while, providing a very large area for swimming and splashing and lounging about on lilos (if so inclined) quite safely.  

She, the 6 year old, is swimming with an inflatable ring around her waist for ease.  He's encouraging her to kick her legs and practice her swimming strokes as she's been taking lessons.
 
They've been in the sea a fair while, so it's not entirely unexpected when she says:
 
"I need the toilet, daddy"
 
Daddy does what, let's face it, most daddy's would do when faced with this question at nearly a hundred yards from the shore. He explains, in hushed tones, that it's really alright to go to the toilet out in the sea when you are that far out.  After all; it's all very natural and no-one will ever know.  And of course, it saves him rushing her in to the beach and up to the hotel.
 
A few minutes later she grins and says; "Done it!" and carries on swimming.  
 
Daddy is pleased with his parenting skill so far in, what could have been a taxing situation.
 
They swim some more.
 
And Daddy catches sight of a leaf in the sea.  
 
He thinks it's odd, being so far out, so he looks a little more closely.  
 
It's not a leaf.
 
Daddy wasn't entirely specific enough when he explained what was acceptable in the sea.  In fact he really ought to have explained what was and what wasn't.
 
He quickly moved away from the floating 'leaf' and said to her urgently.
 
"Did you just have a wee wee, dear?"
 
"No daddy" she says, sweet and innocent as pie. "I did a poo poo too" she adds proudly.
 
Parenting skills have taken a blow.  Daddy knows he needs a quick recovery.  Clean up will be required if he has any hope of keeping this minor error a secret. He whispers to her that actually it's not really good form to do 'those' in the sea, and he gets her to quickly whip off her swimsuit so that he can 'clean it out'.  
 
They are a long way out, and there's a lot of space around them, so hopefully no one will notice.
 
He cleans the swimsuit up, scrapping them out with his hands (euuuwww), and pops them back on her and looks around them to check if he's got away with it. 
 
A fellow is floating quite close to them now on a lilo, but other than that, there isn't anyone particularly close by.  

He thinks they've got away with it.
 
That is until he spies, out of the corner of his eyes, the man on the lilo suddenly flinch, and start back-peddling quickly in the opposite direction.
 
I guess the 'leaf' was heading his way......
 

I am lucky to have such an honest husband that, in the interests of providing bloggable material he felt he really couldn't keep this secret, well, a secret.