How to travel with a recently toilet trained child

You've started the process of toilet training your child, they are doing really well and wearing big girls/boys pants in the day time and you are pleased that the 'accidents' are reducing in number.

So what do you do when you find yourself needing to take a long car journey with them?  Do you put them back in a nappy or pull-up for the duration?  Does that contradict all the messages you've been giving about their progress into big girls/boys pants and the new rule that involves only weeing on the toilet (or potty)?  Will it take you a few steps backwards in the process?

If your journey is going to take longer than half an hour you need, in all cases to ALWAYS put your child on the toilet just before you leave the house and don't give them large drinks within half an hour of travelling.

You also need a toilet training travel pack as follows:

Toilet training travel pack

• Spare pants for the child (At least 2 pairs just in case!)
• A couple of nappies (not to wear - see below)
• A packet of wipes
• A handful of nappy bags
• A muslin (or two)
• A spare set of clothes.  (Maybe two sets of trousers/skirts just in case)
• A potty or travel potty (optional - see below)

Keep it somewhere easily accessible.  I find the foot well under your child's feet the easiest place.  The canvas shopping bags that are so readily available these days are a perfect size to keep this kit in.  

Travelling with a recently toilet trained child

 

By car.  On motorways.

This is the worst type of journey that you can face in the UK.  In  France they've got it sorted because there is a place to stop for picnics and toileting literally every 5 minutes on their main roads.  Maybe this is because the culture is more for picnics than for buy your own lunches at the mall-style service stations you find on UK motorways?  Whatever the reason, you can find yourself stuck on a stretch of UK motorway and the 'Services' sign will tell you that the next 'Services' are in 43 miles.  43 miles!

You are on a motorway.  You aren't supposed to stop on the hard shoulder.  There won't be actual toilet facilities for 43 miles!

You have two approaches on a motorway that don't include putting a nappy on your child and don't ask your child to hold it for half an hour, which may be too much of a challenge early in the training process.

1.  The Special Cushion Method -  This is, by far, my favourite, as you are not racing a clock to find somewhere to stop.

You take a nappy, fold it over so that the most absorbent part is upwards and the tabs etc are tucked under.  Carefully fold a muslin around the nappy so that it could pass for a rectangular cushion.  Hold carefully and place it on your child's car seat so the absorbent part is still upwards.  Carefully ensure your child sits on top of the 'special cushion'.  With them sat on top of it the cushion is placed exactly where a nappy would be if they were wearing it.  If they have an accident, the worst case scenario is that their pants/trousers/skirt and the muslin all get wet.

At the next safe available opportunity you can pull over, pop the nappy/muslin/clothes into nappy bags and seal them to avoid smells, place on clean clothes and make a new cushion.

2.  The Potty in the Car Method - When you need to and it's safe to, pull over onto the hard shoulder.

Girls - For young girls you may get away with staying in the car (safest).  If their child seat is behind the passenger seat you have easier access to them when you turn towards your left shoulder.  You can unhook their seat belt and grab that kit.  Drape the muslin over the back seat behind you.  Sit the potty in the middle of it.  Sit the child on the potty.  Allow nature to take it's course.  Wipe child's bottom.  You could empty the potty out of the car; it involves a tricky balancing manoeuvre where you lift the potty up, through the gap between the front two seats and onto your lap, open your car door a little, empty the potty out, shut your door.  This is only really appropriate for wee wees in my view.  Wipe out the potty and place all wipes in a nappy bag.  Seal tight.  Refasten child securely into child seat.

Boys - For young boys the approach detailed for girls above may work, but they may not be able to sit on the potty.  Instead try them kneeing next to it.  This gets them closer to their target.

You can also buy travel potties that include liners.  This cuts out the need for clean up as you simply seal the bag once they have done.

In both cases this approach doesn't involve getting out of the car, so is probably the safest potty option.

By car.  On main roads with appropriate parking but no actual toilet facilities. 

Where you can pull over and exit your car safely at parking stops or on the road side on lower speed roads you also have another option.  Some may not be comfortable with this option, but sometimes needs must!  

3.  The Potty (or Hold) Outside the Car - When you need to, pull over into appropriate parking facilities.

You can exit your vehicle, place the potty on the floor next to the car, let your child use it, then clean up as before.

Alternatively, in the absence of a potty you can hold your child a little off the ground to enable them to wee (just watch your shoes!)

In both cases I'd consider how you park when you park.  What I mean is, if you park next to another car and open both front and back doors on your car, you create a small private space between your two doors to give your child a little bit of privacy.

Additionally it's easier for children to 'water grass' than to do this over concrete simply from the point of view of keeping your shoes dry and not creating rivers of wee across car parks!  So parking next to a grass verge or hedge is often helpful.    

***

So there are my methods of coping with travelling with a child that is in the early stages of toilet training, and where you don't want to revert to nappies that you have worked so hard to remove.

I hope it's been useful.  If you know of any mums that may find this information useful please do feel free to share this page/URL with your friends on Twitter, Facebook, or your preferred social network.

For further tips on parenting, beauty, getting organised, travel, entertaining the kids and cheap days out with the kids, you can follow me by email.  Simply enter your email address in the right hand panel.  You can also follow on Twitter here or the Facebook page here.  

Finally, a selection of potties and travel potties are below in case you need to stock up! 
Thanks.

I NEED THE TOILET DADDY!

We are at the seaside and my hubby has taken the eldest out to swim in the sea. 

It's a lovely large sandy beach and the water is not particularly deep and it stays so for quite a while, providing a very large area for swimming and splashing and lounging about on lilos (if so inclined) quite safely.  

She, the 6 year old, is swimming with an inflatable ring around her waist for ease.  He's encouraging her to kick her legs and practice her swimming strokes as she's been taking lessons.
 
They've been in the sea a fair while, so it's not entirely unexpected when she says:
 
"I need the toilet, daddy"
 
Daddy does what, let's face it, most daddy's would do when faced with this question at nearly a hundred yards from the shore. He explains, in hushed tones, that it's really alright to go to the toilet out in the sea when you are that far out.  After all; it's all very natural and no-one will ever know.  And of course, it saves him rushing her in to the beach and up to the hotel.
 
A few minutes later she grins and says; "Done it!" and carries on swimming.  
 
Daddy is pleased with his parenting skill so far in, what could have been a taxing situation.
 
They swim some more.
 
And Daddy catches sight of a leaf in the sea.  
 
He thinks it's odd, being so far out, so he looks a little more closely.  
 
It's not a leaf.
 
Daddy wasn't entirely specific enough when he explained what was acceptable in the sea.  In fact he really ought to have explained what was and what wasn't.
 
He quickly moved away from the floating 'leaf' and said to her urgently.
 
"Did you just have a wee wee, dear?"
 
"No daddy" she says, sweet and innocent as pie. "I did a poo poo too" she adds proudly.
 
Parenting skills have taken a blow.  Daddy knows he needs a quick recovery.  Clean up will be required if he has any hope of keeping this minor error a secret. He whispers to her that actually it's not really good form to do 'those' in the sea, and he gets her to quickly whip off her swimsuit so that he can 'clean it out'.  
 
They are a long way out, and there's a lot of space around them, so hopefully no one will notice.
 
He cleans the swimsuit up, scrapping them out with his hands (euuuwww), and pops them back on her and looks around them to check if he's got away with it. 
 
A fellow is floating quite close to them now on a lilo, but other than that, there isn't anyone particularly close by.  

He thinks they've got away with it.
 
That is until he spies, out of the corner of his eyes, the man on the lilo suddenly flinch, and start back-peddling quickly in the opposite direction.
 
I guess the 'leaf' was heading his way......
 

I am lucky to have such an honest husband that, in the interests of providing bloggable material he felt he really couldn't keep this secret, well, a secret.

Taking children to the theatre?: Check out our adventures at Peppa Pig Live!

Click here for tickets near you

A frustrating trip to the local store and a stressful ride on the train later and we arrive in Manchester.

The travelling isn't over though.  It turns out we are staying at the Arndale Travel Lodge, which, according to my map, is at least a Metroshuttle ride across town. (free though!)  It turned out to be a Metroshuttle ride across town followed by half an hour walking along the side of the Arndale centre twice, being pointed in the wrong direction by helpful passers by twice and having to console four walking children and maintain their enthusiasm for the walk (the lucky youngest was falling asleep in the buggy by now - buggy troubles on the train were worth it!).

They all coped incredibly well, and were praised accordingly, when we finally found the hotel.

The hotel was fine.  What more can you say about that chain?  Although I did ask for extra sheets and an extra duvet and pillow, just in case.  Every mother knows that if you don't have spares you are going to need them!

And so, the exciting morning arrived.  Worn out from jumping on the beds the night before and not getting to sleep until nearly 9pm (bedtime is usually 7.00pm) they slept late and we had to get them to breakfast fairly quickly.  We found our way to the Opera House (another long walk, confusing moment trying to locate the another supposedly obvious Metroshuttle stop and another Metroshuttle ride later) in plenty of time.

Booking tickets for the 10am morning showing was our best move of the entire trip.  The circle was practically empty, allowing us more freedom of movement and better sight lines to the exits (with our 5 children to 2 mums ratio on this trip I had turned into Matthew Bourne!)

My youngest wanted to cuddle Peppa Pig.  I had to explain that this was a show that we were going to watch; that Peppa would be on the stage and that we probably wouldn't be able to give her a cuddle today, but that we would blow her lots of kisses which I was sure she'd appreciate.  Youngest duly placated.

Sweets were handed around just before curtain up.  (Bought outside the venue and took inside.  We are not made of money you know)  And the show started.

I had been given advance warning that the show contained puppets, not adult-size characters, and I'm glad I had the warning.  I think I'd have been a little disappointed otherwise.  But it's done very well.  The puppeteers interacting with the puppets very obviously, not trying to pretend they are anything other than puppets, but equally not pointing it out.

Frequent visits from Miss Rabbit at opportune times were met with glee and the children sat transfixed, which is all we could hope for.

I was actually beginning to relax until, after the interval (when she'd been to the toilet once already), the youngest pipes up:

"I need a wee wee, mummy!"

In a fraction of a second I'm calculating...... approximate time since the interval; approximate length of the second half factoring in the length of the first half; the current point in the story arc; an assumption as to how long the cast will need before the afternoon matinee for rest; to work out whether I'm better taking her now (missing a section) or wait and risk missing the end when she can't quite make it.  I'm listening to the actors on stage whilst asking my daughter if she needs to go now, or if she can wait.  She hesitantly says she can wait.  But; with my nearly acquired spy-like skills I work out the approximate distance to the toilets, the time required, and listening to every word they are saying on stage I work out that they are all about to go on a balloon ride.... Great! They are bound to drag this bit out.  And I don't think she can wait - she just doesn't want to miss anything.

Right.  GO GO GO!

I hoist her up into my arms, trundle down the aisle (empty to the end - I said it worked out well going to an early showing didn't I), run up the stairs and tear across the area behind the seats to the archway leading out to the toilets.  Luckily Manchester Opera House circle is perfectly designed for those with children.  Right up until we went through that archway my daughter could still see the stage perfectly.  And then we were through...

Down the corridor, turn the corner (careful not to swing around too hard and bump her head on the wall), five more steps, throw open the door to the toilets, up 4 steps, throw open the next door, run in, place daughter down on her feet stood in front of the toilet.  A quick downwards swish, an upwards lift onto the seat, a grab of enough toilet paper, a pause (take a breathe), lift her off, wipe, upwards swish, hoist her back up, and fling open the door again.  Retrace our steps, and step back through the archway less than 2 minutes later.  Then return to a slow stroll, (so as to catch my breath before sitting back down and sounding like a dirty caller with all the heavy breathing).  Back across the rear of the auditorium, down the stairs, into our aisle, sit back down, AND still remember to grab the small bottle of anti-bacterial hand wash that I keep in my bag at all times, to wipe her hands before they go back in the sweetie bag. (that shaved a good minute off our time outside the auditorium.)

And you know what... they still hadn't landed that balloon.  She didn't miss a thing. Supermum!

The rest of the day was fun; mainly because we had achieved our aim of getting them to the show and therefore were feeling fairly smug.  Another Metroshuttle to the station; which my eldest was happy to note was the purple line which we hadn't yet tried out, making a full set of all three.  Who knew 'Metroshuttle bingo' would be so much fun.  We had a picnic lunch from M&S, including pre-filled wine glasses for the train ride home.  I told you I'd get that Rose at some point!  And braved the train home.

The train ride home was even more stressful than the one there...and a final post to fill you in on the dodgy film watching antics of some train passengers and the appalling customer service from the catering team will follow soon to finish this set of posts about our half term adventure!

If you've picked up some tips from our adventure, or had a giggle, then my work here is done!

The first two instalments of our trip are here:
Tesco Express chooses bureaucratic nonsense over common sense
Taking children on the train: here's what you really need to consider
And part four is here:
Censorship?  What should we censor for children?

Taking children on the train? Here's what you really need to consider.

 
And so, it's Valentines day and my friend and I are taking our children over to Manchester for an overnight stay (without husbands) so that we can see Peppa Pig on stage the next morning. We are so romantic. But it's half term and Peppa is only on for a couple of days.

East Midlands Trains

We decide, somewhat foolishly you might think, to take them on the train, partly because we have been getting a fair bit of snow over the peaks and we didn't want to get caught out and partly because it just seemed to be the easiest option.  At least it did.  Before that marvellous thing called hindsight.

We drive five minutes to the station in my mate's 7-seater, supposedly stopping off for a bottle of wine en route (click here for why I came away empty handed and won't be shopping with Tesco again anytime soon)

Then we all climb into the train just after midday.  We have packed lightly knowing that we'd need to carry everything.  I think we did pretty well.  My mate had one medium trollycase and I had one dispatch bag.

I feel the need to elaborate on that point for a moment to stress the momentous nature of it.  My mate had one medium trollycase - for an overnight stay for herself and her three daughters (five, three and three).  I had one dispatch bag for myself and two daughters (five and three).  That's pretty impressive packing for women! All we took were toothbrushes, PJs and clean pants (that's knickers by the way, not trousers).

We also had a separate picnic bag and a single pushchair (buggy) just in case the little ones got tired.

My first tip for travelling with children on the train is definitely to pack efficiently. You don't have enough hands for the children, never mind for bags as well.  A dispatch bag that you can slot over your body leaving both hands free, or a rucksack, are probably the best two options.

My second tip is to ensure 'before' you get on the train, that you are stepping into the carriage that has a large enough storage space for your pushchair.  It turns out that East Midlands Trains aren't that great for storage space!  It took ages to find a slot to shove the thing.  In fact their website doesn't even appear to mention them, though cycles, luggage and even pets are covered, so presumably they don't expect anyone to need them.  Mother's with babies be warned.

Our next problem was sitting down.  Remember, there are seven of us.  The carriage wasn't particularly full, but of course the four table areas, which seat four each, all had a single person sat in them.  All other seats were in pairs.  Now my friend is excellent at multi-tasking, but even she couldn't manage to sit in block of two seats with three children.  So we really needed to get around a table.  Did any of those individuals already sat at the tables offer to move?  Of course not.  We were struggling to get five children sat down safely and within eye shot of us and no-one even thought to say; "would it help if you sat here?".  We were, on this stretch of the journey, lucky that the next station was only five minutes away and lots of people got off.  You can imagine how fast we jumped onto the table that become free.  I'd still not even sat down myself until this point to keep eyes on them all.

So finally the five girls are sat around the table eating their packed lunch (still in only four seats of course - it's lucky they are fairly small) and we are sat just behind them so that we can see everything, and they can pass us their rubbish between the seats.  The rest of the journey was pretty good.  They ate, we chatted.  Time passed pleasantly. Third tip - take a packed lunch!

It's only when you have to get off the train that the panic sets in and stress levels peak.  Particularly when, just five minutes earlier the youngest decides she needs to toilet and we all find ourselves down by the exit doors, kids nearly falling over as the train does that slowing down thing is does before stations, and panicking when the toilet door rolls itself shut automatically with the youngest in there on her own.  You can't hold it open either - I tried.  So we were lucky to get her finished and dressed just in time to get off the train.  I'm seriously tense now.  Nervous that we've left something behind (coat?, child?)  In the words of McNulty (The Wire) we 'front and reared' them: my mate getting off the train first and helping them down, me following to ensure no-one got left behind and bringing the pushchair with me.  You won't be surprised that there were no members of staff on hand to help, despite the massive gap between the train and the platform and the tiny legs that had to jump over it to get off.

So fourth tip, if I'm honest, is don't get on a train unless you have a much improved ratio of adults to children than our measly 2:5.  It's a real shame though, because they do love it.  It's just so stressful for the adults.  I was terrified they were going to somehow fall off the platform.  I spent most of my time simply re-counting them.

Trains are great at getting you from A to B, at doing it without you having to drive, or park, or navigate town centres in a car.  What they are not great on is remembering who their customers are and what their customers need.  Maybe if they addressed that shortfall and thought about how their trains could be more child friendly, they could encourage more people to use them.

And next we had to find the MetroShuttle...more on that later with our antics at Peppa Pig Live (here)
And had to brave the train home again.  Find our why I had to consider censorship on the train ride here.

Potty Training - How to?

Our youngest daughter is being an absolute trouper at the moment.  She has stopped wearing her pull up nappies during the day.  And although I have had to deal with a fair few accidents.  I strangely get the accidents when we are at home and not when we are out and about.  Perhaps because I am overly conscious of the need to visit a toilet whenever there is one nearby when we are out, but at home we just kick back and relax and everyone forgets to go.

Either way, she's doing much better than her sister did at this stage in the process and I put most of that down to the age that we've done it.

Our eldest started Nursery at 2 1/2 years old.  Nursery, at that time, required children to be, wherever possible, toilet trained.  So we attempted to stop wearing nappies and placed a potty in the corner of the room when she had only just turned 2.  It was quite hard work.  She regularly had accidents at Nursery, which went on for months.  And having a portable potty didn't seem to help, as there was no requirement for her to 'hold it' long enough to walk through to an actual toilet.

With our youngest I deliberately waited until she was nearly 3 years old.  And although she hadn't started telling us she needed to go, we found ourselves with three clear days at the end of the summer holidays when her sister was off on a vacation with Grandma and Grandad and I was off work.  So I thought I'd give it a whirl.  The pull ups came off, and I began to ask her regularly if she needed to go. Though I don't subscribe to the "put them on the potty every 15 minutes" method.  Come on!  You're bound to get lucky doing that.  No one learns anything and it's frankly a pain.  Do it at sensible times.  Often if your child eats and drinks when you do, your schedule will be not far off hers!

I quickly discovered that she always needed to go half an hour after having a drink, and then again 10 minutes after that.  The regularity of it helped me, and her.  But when I took her to Nursery that first day in September I was under no illusions that she'd be able to stay dry all day.  She'd managed it at home really quickly (and surprisingly), but there'd be too many distractions surely?  Apparently not.  The first few days at Nursery she came home dry.  I was amazed.  We have had accidents, but they are less than once a day.  And she's improving all the time.  And strangely she's only now starting to shout out "I need a wee-wee" when she disappears into the toilet, rather than just going.  This helps (as I often need to run to the bathroom to check that the step is in the right place for her to get up, and the child seat is on.  It seems that she was ready to get on with it, but wasn't interested in telling us before now!

My recommendation is not to rush.  Leave 'toilet training' as long as you can.  Don't feel pressured to do it.  After all, is not you that's doing it, it's your child.  Let them tell you when they are ready, and it'll be far easier than you'd expect.  Or at least leave it until they have half a chance, as many children simply don't have that kind of control physically until they are at least 2 and a half, if not older.  The worst move is to do it too early and end up upsetting your child, who will try there best, but just not be able to comply.