Tuesday, 29 September 2009

To Work or Not to Work?

I am discovering that this blog is quite therapeutic. The danger is that I start ranting and complaining all the time. I'll have to rely on you wonderful readers to let me know as soon as that starts I guess!

It would appear that the younger is much better now, and that the elder, though suffering from whinging syndrome this morning, appears to be fine to. We've had two undisturbed nights of sleep and I'm feeling more human as a result. Not quite yummy yet, but human is a start.

I'm due to go back to work shortly, and am struggling with the guilt that comes with it. Though both children go to nursery for two days each week already, and love it; and though I'll still have my time with them; I'm still beating myself up about it. As you know, I struggle to get all the chores done as it is, so how on earth will I cope if I have to work as well?

The only thing I am clear about is that I need to use my adult brain again. The one that manages intellectual conversations and analyses data for a living. There's the argument that I could do something else. After all, if I have time to work, then I could be learning a new skill, going to the gym, more easily managing the chores? But I like my job (I know it's unusual). So I figure, why not do that, and get paid for it. Then everyone will benefit from the improved holiday's we'll be able to afford!

The 'to work or not to work' debate does have a bearing on my ability to be yummy though. It will literally force me to get up earlier in the morning to make myself look acceptable for work, and not just for the school run. I'll let you know how that goes!

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