Tuesday, 2 December 2014

How to sell your parenting skills in the work place

Parenting versus Managing

There isn't a day goes by that I don't use skills at work that I learnt through being a parent.

Whether I am being encouraging; or expressing my disappointment at someone who should know better; managing conflict and assisting with calm authority, denying gossip; managing good and bad performance; managing relationships (and ensuring the team don't kill eachother); teaching office manners, where it's OK to smoke - but "I really wouldn't because xyz", that "Please", "Thank you" and "You're welcome" are not optional extras, and finally, teaching that punctuality is a key measure by which you'll be judged.

Over and over again I find myself having the same conversations in work as I've had at home talking to my 6 year old, Little Miss George, and my 8 year old, Princess Peppa.

And actually, teaching and training and managing the 6 and 8 year old is often much easier than doing the same with a bunch of adults who all think they know better. Some of which have never been taught how to spell. Some never got into the habit of saying 'thank you'. Some are learning new things and getting frustrated by the slowness of their learning. Many (oh goodness FAR too many) gossip and argue in the same way you'd expect on a playground.

Sell your parenting skills to interviewers

So if you are trying to get back into the workplace after having children you can absolutely sell your newly learnt skills in parenting as management skills.

Thursday, 18 September 2014

Do you have to get dressed to go out with a pushchair?

It's 2am. Baby has been crying, on and off, all night. You know that a walk in the buggy has a good chance of sending baby off to sleep. Baby is screaming now; completely over tired. You've changed the nappy. Your baby refuses any more milk. He's been winded for hours. The walk in the buggy is your last option.

But you are in your pjamas and slippers. The perplexing quesion of the day is: Do you get dressed?

Would you bother to swap slippers for trainers? Would you whip off the PJs and throw on some jeans and a T-Shirt? Would you throw on just a dressing gown, or a coat?

And, in a world that has somehow managed to convince the fashion buying public that a onesie is a fashion statement and not (what it actually is) a large baby-grow; does it frankly matter which of the above you pick since we are used to seeing people in outfits that look like sleepwear anyway?

Saturday, 2 August 2014

How to survive the school holidays

To many parents, the prospect of 7 weeks of school holidays causes mixed and conflicting emotions. For working parents, on one hand there is an opportunity to spend more time with the children than the two day weekends usually allow, assuming, that is, you can book some leave. On the other hand, most working parents get less than 30 days annual leave a year, so the school holidays present a logistical childcare challenge.

You are torn between wanting to be delighted that the children are not at school, but actually feeling fairly gutted that the children are not at school.

This is also because the working parents amongst us don't get nearly as much childcare practise. We are just not used to entertaining the children, or indeed pointing them in the right direction of the garden/playroom/bedroom (delete as appropriate) so that they can entertain themselves. We spend our time getting very good at filling school bags with the right letters, prepping lunchboxes, prepping and distributing breakfasts and evening meals, bathing, stories and bed time. That bulk of time in the middle of the day that needs filling with other stuff? Well that's something of an enigma to us.

Saturday, 19 July 2014

The New Hobby Dilemma

The New Hobby Dilemma: how many classes should you take before knowing it's not for you?


Children come with a host of undiscovered talents. We don't know what they will be good at. We don't now whether they will take to swimming like a duck to water, or if they will splash and cry and splash some more and scream the place down and try every trick in the book to convince us they don't need to learn to swim.

Whilst swimming is a non-negotiable for us (being a life saver it is compulsory attendance for our girls), other hobbies are all up for debate.

Ballet dancing, horse-riding, singing, piano-playing, rugby, karate, street dance, gymnastics, cheerleading....... They are some of the many childhood activities on offer for our children and our children may be brilliant at them.

They may also be rubbish.

So how many classes do you insist they go to before allowing them to say, "I don't want to do it anymore"? Should we insist they make the effort, as not everything will necessarily click straight away. Or do we assume that if it's their talent then they, and us, will magically know straight away?

Is there such a thing as "being a natural"?

And if they are brilliant at it, but hate it, what then?

What do you think?

 

You can also read the debate about the gender-specific nature of some childhood activities at "Why is it OK for little girls to love dinosaurs, but not OK for little boys to love Barbie?"

 

Tuesday, 8 July 2014

Parents: please stop pleading with your children

When did parents stop telling their children what to do?

Walk into your local supermarket and you'll discover parents not only asking their children to behave, but pleading with them.

I nearly called this post "stop saying please". But it's not really the "please" bit that's the problem, though it doesn't help. Indeed you can't expect your children to grow up saying please when they ask for something if you never use it with them. However, there's a difference between saying to little Charlie, "keep hold off the trolly please" in a matter of fact tone when it's an instruction with manners and "darling, pleeeease keep hold of the trolly. " using best pleading voice. In fact, to give that the right tone I was forced to add the "darling" to that second version making it far more accurate. Some parents can't say a sentence to their children, even when supposedly reprimanding them, without saying darling. I'm not sure why. Don't their children have actual names?

I feel like slapping them. The parents, not the children. Becuase it seems like only that would bring them to their senses.

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