When your children need you less

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You experience a decade of being the absolute rock for your child.  They rely on you for food, shelter, nappy changing, cleanliness, getting where they need to go, when they need to go there.  You play with them, dry their tears when they fall, patch them up and help them get back on track.  You get completely used to thinking for them as well as you.  Your diary is full of their activities (not so much your own).  Life, if you also have a paid job, becomes an endless round of time management genius.  From meetings, to school pickups... on and on it goes.  It's thrilling, but exhausting.

During this time you occasionally wish they didn't need you so much.  Their call of 'muuummmm', starts to become more grating and less cute.  They seem to lose things constantly, and require your input so much that you rarely get to drink a cup of tea whilst it's hot, nor go to the toilet uninterrupted.

Feeling like you are not a good mum?

I feel this numerous times everyday. I honestly think that if you permanently think you are a fabulous mum you are probably suffering from delusions.

Part of being a good parent is recognising your weaknesses and knowing what you are doing well and what needs improvement. We are not all perfect. Knowing this makes us one step closer to attaining success.

It will be different in other parts of the world, but in the UK we live in a culture where women are told in school that girls are more intelligent than boys. The exam statistics prove it. We are told we can do anything, be leaders, lawyers, doctors or pop stars - it's all available to us. We are also shown celebrity mothers, usually those in the film, TV or Modelling industry, in top designer wear, with perfect haircuts, running their children to school in 4x4s, playing out at the park in their designer jeans, and somehow maintaining a career without their mascara running. We think that this is what we must strive for. Everything. Woman have fought long and hard for us to have equal opportunity to men. We shouldn't waste the opportunity.

It's all an awful lot of pressure to have everything and do everything and to do it all brilliantly with fabulous skin and perfect nails.

Original Sprout Miracle De-tangler

This week we are testing Original Sprout's Miracle Detangler. I read another blog post on the product and highlighted it in my monthly Britmums Beauty Round-Up. I was then lucky enough to be offered a bottle to test out on my daughter's completely unruly hair.

 

The quote, from my daughter, on first use on dry hair, when asked by my hubby what she thought half way through the usual hair brushing process, was;

 

"Normally I say ow, ow, ow, but this time I haven't said a single ow yet".

 

Praise indeed. Having received that rave review from a 7 year old, need I go on?

 

Well yes, I ought to really.....

How to make time for your partner

 

Remember those days when you had all the time in the world to go to the cinema, have a leisurely romantic meal with your partner, stay out all night if you felt like it....?

Having trouble finding time for eating, never mind making time for your partner, now that you've become a parent?

I am over on Wriggly rascals today talking about making time for your partner. It's a tricky issue, and one that new parents have to address to ensure relationships survive the huge cultural and emotional change that children bring to the table.

If you have any tips please join me in answering a few short questions on the wriggly rascals survey to help another mum improve her relationship post-baby.

My post, Making time for your partner, is here, and if you need further tips on rekindling the lurrve try this popular post How to rekindle your relationship after having a child, here.

 

 

10 reassuring and helpful tips for getting organised: for mums whose children are starting school

Little Miss George started in Reception just over a week ago. Already she has brought home two reading books without any words in them; a sponsor form to raise money for the school; 3 separate newsletters with dates for parent evenings, school photo sessions, coffee mornings and encouraging suggestions that I attend the annual general meeting of the "mums and dads" committee; and lots of tales of playing with lots of Lego. If she was my elder daughter I would be wondering what on earth the school was playing at and would be feeling completely overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information.

If she was our first, I would have diligently attending the welcome meeting for new parents last week in order to be told exactly how important it was to read the reading books "the same night" and return the next day to ensure that the book was available for the next child.

I would be feeling under pressure to attend every meeting, and already panicking about the potential risk of forgetting to dress my daughter in appropriate "dress-up" gear on various fancy dress days to come.

I would be scanning every letter and marking in my diary every single event, without having a clue which pieces of information were more important than others.

As it is, I know better.

This year I am much more relaxed. Here's my list of top tips that will help you work out what information is important, what to prioritise and what to just ignore. I hope it helps.

Wriggly Rascals: A new collaboration

I am delighted to be involved with website wrigglyrascals.com. An excellent on-line community website designed to enable mothers to ask for help on any topic and receive personal advice via a survey of the sites other users. It's simple and easy to use; so if you've got a question and can't find the answer on my lovely site here, then pop over to wrigglyrascals and ask other mums.

Sign up here.

And read my guest post on how to be a yummy mummy at wrigglyrascals.com here.

 

Original Sprout: Shampoo and Conditioner review

Original Sprout's Tahitian Family Collection

The problem with trying out new shampoos is that, if you get it wrong, you look like a scarecrow. Not so with Original Sprout. My hair has never been as glossy nor as healthy looking.

I had been using the John Frieda range for coloured hair. Perfectly suitable, but my hair always felt a little fly-away, and it was difficult to style. Certainly it was difficult to run a brush through it, even after using the John Frieda conditioner.

So it was with great delight that, after two days of trialling the Original Sprout range, my hairbrush glided smoothly through my hair and it felt light, soft and controllable. I kid you not when I say this was an entirely new experience for me!

 

About Original Sprout

Inge Tritt founded the company after struggling to find suitable hair and skin products for her baby's bath time.

"Our founder delighted in her newborn daughter's thick hair. Wanting to use the safest bath products led to her trying natural baby shampoos. To her surprise, all the shampoos wreaked havoc to her daughter's hair and sensitive skin. To remedy the problem Inga created the first of it's kind, ultra moisturizing natural baby bath & styling products. The benefits of being a master stylist with professional experience & a mother with real life experience culminated into Original Sprout, a globally trusted natural family brand."

I'm sorry kids, but no; I don't want to play

Yes, that's me.... playing on the beach

Mummy; will you come and play?

I really really hope it isn't just me that gets a little tired of the mantra coming from my two girls far too many (in my opinion) times a day: "Mummy; will you come and play?".

I have always been conscious that I am a parent. Even when the girls were really little and I was playing "Incy Wincy Spider" up their arms, I knew that I wasn't there to just be their playmate.

I am very aware of the burden of responsibility I have as a parent to teach them how to grow up to be kind, considerate, polite, intelligent, knowledgeable, courteous, civil members of society. I know that I can't do that AND be their best mate at the same time.

Or; let me elaborate further; I know I can't always be their best friend. A lot of the time I will have to pull rank to be successful as a parent and I know that my words won't hold as much weight if I spend a lot of my time trying to also be their best bud.

Roll up, roll up. The Britmums Carnival is coming....

It's nearly carnival time here at Yummy Mummy? Really? I have been preparing my headdress and painting the float. In my head obviously. This is an on-line Carnival, and as such it's all rather virtual. The spirit of the event is exactly the same though. It's time to get together, socialise, have a couple of drinks if you are so inclined, dress up in crazy flamboyant outfits (come on! don't be dull) and showcase your talents and skills.

The Britmums Carnival, for those not already in the know, is a collection of blog posts (written in the last month) all shared in one post by the host (moi). Bloggers take turns to host and its a great way to showcase your latest blog post or discover great blogs.

There is usually a theme selected by the host. In the spirit of the event I am choosing the theme:-

Parenting 101: How to not let the clocks ruin your child's sleep pattern

It is that annoying weekend again. I have ranted about this before and I will do it again now. Why oh why do we have to go through this annual ritual of messing up everyone's body clocks just so that it can be slightly brighter at night (but dark again in the mornings).

I still don't fully understand the benefit these days. But I will avoid ranting any more here. If you want to find out who to direct your rant to it was a certain Mr Willett.

Meanwhile, how do you cope this weekend when, not only have the children been off school for the Easter holidays - and presumably allowed to stay up a little later in the vain hope they might give you a lie in - but you also need to adjust their body clock back the other way in time for school's return?

Nightmares: How to deal with them when they start in young children

So, yesterday we talked about the potential causes of nightmares in children.   In my case this was a combination of poor judgement around approved film watching, and Little Miss George (4)  getting too used to having her big sister, Princess Peppa (6), sleeping over in her room whilst the roof was being fixed.

But once they start, is there anything you can do?

Little Miss George quickly developed a fear of the dark and wouldn't even go into our hall to go to the toilet on her own.  She'd wake up three or four times a night and cry out for us, only settling to sleep if we sat next to her bed holding her hand, got into bed with her, or, when it was close to morning, allowed her to get in our bed with us, something we have rarely done.

How to rekindle your relationship after having a child.

Photo courtesy of Kozzi.com

Having children effects the relationship you have with your partner.  It doesn't matter how much you convince yourself that your life will be just the same only with a child in it, you quickly realise that nothing could be further from the truth.

Having children adds various challenges to your relationship, but fear not; the solutions just need a little bit of effort.  Below I outline some of the main reasons that couple feel they are drifting apart after the birth of a first child, and my suggestions as to how to face these challenges.

1.  We are both always exhausted.

There's no way to sugarcoat this; and thinking that it's the same kind of tiredness you get from pulling the odd all-nighter, either in the pub, or to complete some college assignment, is naive at best.  You will have never known tiredness quite like it.

The solution? Accept the tiredness as inevitable and snuggle up to fall asleep in front of the television together.  You may not feel like getting frisky, but make the effort to cuddle up and stay connected.

2.  We don't talk about anything but the children.

And why is that a problem?  Well, it's not in itself a problem at all.  Having a child is a major event in both your lives and you should be talking about it. 

So what's my advice?  Every so often ask your partner about them; their views on current news, what they thought of a new television show you've both seen lately, where they'd like to go on holiday next year... It sounds a little like the patter your hair stylist might use, and that's exactly what it should sound like because it's YOU remembering to take an interest in THEM as well as the new child.

It's amazing what a difference it makes to your day when someone takes a genuine interest in your thoughts and feelings for even just a short period of time.  Give this gift of attention to each other. 

3.  We are changing.  We aren't the same people anymore.

Of course you aren't.  You grew up and became parents.  It's the natural order of things.  But it doesn't mean you are not the same people that fell in love.  What it does mean is that you are both learning new skills and that you will both find different ways to cope with the new responsibility.

What can you do?  Give each other chance to grow, and try and give each other a regular opportunity to get out alone to be the person you were before you became a parent.   Whether it's to go to the hair salon, the golf course, a painting class or judo; whatever it is that enables you to maintain your own sense of self. 

Often those who work full-time before and immediately after having a child need this less, as they have the consistency of their job, that doesn't change, and maintain their sense of their 'work self' separately to that of their 'new parent' self.  But if you used to work and stop to have children you can feel like you start to lose your own identity.  Recognise this in yourself or your partner and give the space to the individual that needs it.

4.  We don't get any couple time.

What with the new baby demanding attention 24 hours a day, and you both attempting to give each other alone time, how do you get 'couple' time?

This one is a must: Create it.  I mean it.  There's no excuse for this one.  If you don't have the luxury of babysitting grandparents, then ensure you get a bedtime routine for your little one established as soon as is practical and turn one evening a week into an "at home date night". 

And let's be really clear here; I'm not referring to item 1. above here, you can fall asleep watching television together the other 6 nights.  No, I mean turn the television off, cook a nice meal (or order in) and do something together, be it playing scrabble or cards, listening to music, or the obvious vertical boogie.  Make the time and effort. 

5.  I/We just don't feel like sex.

OK, so you are worn out and just don't feel like it.  What if your other half does initiate sex?  In my humble experience it's always worth going with it.  You may not feel particularly passionate to start with and we all know that women (generally speaking) take a little longer to warm up, but give your partner chance to see if maybe the warming up can be done.

What have you got to loose?  You might just get a lovely orgasm and feel 10 times better.

It, of course, may be that neither of you are initiating sex.  You may both be too tired, overwhelmed, or, let's face it, scared.

Get over yourselves and on every "date night" rediscover each-other.  If it means taking it slow and kissing for hours, so what? 

6.  But we've stopped talking to each other!

All the tiredness and fear and the notion of being overwhelmed can result in two people both feeling similar emotions but not realising, thinking their other half is coping 'so much better' and being scared to share their thoughts and fears. 

Talk to each other!!  For goodness sake!  You are not 11 years old now, you are parents for goodness sake.  Talk, debate, disagree, discuss, share and argue if you must.  Then either discover that you are both feeling the same and have a good laugh at yourselves, or agree to disagree and to support each other where you both need it. 

7.  She / He takes me for granted

This happens so easily that it is scary.  On the one hand it's lovely that we get so comfortable in our relationships that we start to trust the other person to always be there, to always support us, to always make the dinner, do the dishes, put the bins out, buy us presents, send us cute little texts.... the list goes on and on and on....

It's also ridiculously easy to avoid this one.  Remember those words your parents always drilled into you, but which we often seem to forget in adult life?  Go on... think hard...  Two phrases.... Please, and thank you.

Please and thank you will take you a long way.  It can take effort to start reusing these little gems if they've managed to slip out of your vocabulary, but it's well worth it.  People like being thanked, it's a very basic acknowledgement that they've done something to make our lives easier. 

Another really easy thing to do to ensure you don't take each other for granted.  Keep doing those things you used to.  Those little texts.... buying little gifts.... leave post-it's for each other.   I guess I'm just saying "think about your partner and treat them".  Easy, eh?

All this advice sounds like too much hard work

Really?  Too much hard work to make the effort to build and grow your developing relationship and be the best parents you can be?  It's your relationship.  If it was a relationship strong enough to result in you deciding to become parents together, then surely it's worth the effort of staying parents together?

***

I really hope this article provides some helpful tips on how to reconnect with your partner after having a child.  It's tough; I wouldn't ever suggest otherwise; but the best and most brilliant things in this world can only be built with hard work and dedication.  

If you need any other tips on pregnancy, parenting, coping with being a new parent, coping with a demanding toddler and keeping your sense of self and yumminess in the process, feel free to browse the site and follow using your preferred method be it facebook, twitter, bloglovin, RSS or google+.  Thank you for stopping by.


Good luck and happy parenting.

Parenting advice: Do as I say, not as I do

I have lost count of the number of times I have seen a parent (sometimes me) shouting at the top of their voices at their children; "WILL YOU STOP SHOUTING AND BE QUIET!"

I understand the compulsion as I've have been there.  But it's interesting how often you see it happen: a parent asking their child to do something that they are not doing themselves. 

I've now worked out the solution for us in the case of shouting.  When our two girls are screaming at each other, sometimes in anger, sometimes just because they want to be heard over each other, I pause (to take a breathe and ensure to be calm) and make sure I walk right into the fray, crouch down to their level, gesture for them to look at me and I, ever so quietly, tell them that there is no need to shout at each other or me, as we are not a million miles away.

It's surprising how effective speaking quietly is.  The sudden change in volume, coupled with their need to go quiet in order to hear my words, has a drastic impact on the decibel level in the room.

Besides; I shouldn't expect them to be quiet if I am allowed to shout.  In the same way you can't teach children to be honest if you regularly lie, or to be reliable if you are constantly late. 

Are there any things you do, but that you try and teach your children not to do?  My vice is chocolate.  I try and teach them to eat healthily but regularly find myself sneaking a biscuit on the sly so that they don't want one too.  How bad is that!?

Click on 'Comments' below to let me know your parenting "do as I says", or track me down on Twitter or Facebook .

How to travel with a recently toilet trained child

You've started the process of toilet training your child, they are doing really well and wearing big girls/boys pants in the day time and you are pleased that the 'accidents' are reducing in number.

So what do you do when you find yourself needing to take a long car journey with them?  Do you put them back in a nappy or pull-up for the duration?  Does that contradict all the messages you've been giving about their progress into big girls/boys pants and the new rule that involves only weeing on the toilet (or potty)?  Will it take you a few steps backwards in the process?

If your journey is going to take longer than half an hour you need, in all cases to ALWAYS put your child on the toilet just before you leave the house and don't give them large drinks within half an hour of travelling.

You also need a toilet training travel pack as follows:

Toilet training travel pack

• Spare pants for the child (At least 2 pairs just in case!)
• A couple of nappies (not to wear - see below)
• A packet of wipes
• A handful of nappy bags
• A muslin (or two)
• A spare set of clothes.  (Maybe two sets of trousers/skirts just in case)
• A potty or travel potty (optional - see below)

Keep it somewhere easily accessible.  I find the foot well under your child's feet the easiest place.  The canvas shopping bags that are so readily available these days are a perfect size to keep this kit in.  

Travelling with a recently toilet trained child

 

By car.  On motorways.

This is the worst type of journey that you can face in the UK.  In  France they've got it sorted because there is a place to stop for picnics and toileting literally every 5 minutes on their main roads.  Maybe this is because the culture is more for picnics than for buy your own lunches at the mall-style service stations you find on UK motorways?  Whatever the reason, you can find yourself stuck on a stretch of UK motorway and the 'Services' sign will tell you that the next 'Services' are in 43 miles.  43 miles!

You are on a motorway.  You aren't supposed to stop on the hard shoulder.  There won't be actual toilet facilities for 43 miles!

You have two approaches on a motorway that don't include putting a nappy on your child and don't ask your child to hold it for half an hour, which may be too much of a challenge early in the training process.

1.  The Special Cushion Method -  This is, by far, my favourite, as you are not racing a clock to find somewhere to stop.

You take a nappy, fold it over so that the most absorbent part is upwards and the tabs etc are tucked under.  Carefully fold a muslin around the nappy so that it could pass for a rectangular cushion.  Hold carefully and place it on your child's car seat so the absorbent part is still upwards.  Carefully ensure your child sits on top of the 'special cushion'.  With them sat on top of it the cushion is placed exactly where a nappy would be if they were wearing it.  If they have an accident, the worst case scenario is that their pants/trousers/skirt and the muslin all get wet.

At the next safe available opportunity you can pull over, pop the nappy/muslin/clothes into nappy bags and seal them to avoid smells, place on clean clothes and make a new cushion.

2.  The Potty in the Car Method - When you need to and it's safe to, pull over onto the hard shoulder.

Girls - For young girls you may get away with staying in the car (safest).  If their child seat is behind the passenger seat you have easier access to them when you turn towards your left shoulder.  You can unhook their seat belt and grab that kit.  Drape the muslin over the back seat behind you.  Sit the potty in the middle of it.  Sit the child on the potty.  Allow nature to take it's course.  Wipe child's bottom.  You could empty the potty out of the car; it involves a tricky balancing manoeuvre where you lift the potty up, through the gap between the front two seats and onto your lap, open your car door a little, empty the potty out, shut your door.  This is only really appropriate for wee wees in my view.  Wipe out the potty and place all wipes in a nappy bag.  Seal tight.  Refasten child securely into child seat.

Boys - For young boys the approach detailed for girls above may work, but they may not be able to sit on the potty.  Instead try them kneeing next to it.  This gets them closer to their target.

You can also buy travel potties that include liners.  This cuts out the need for clean up as you simply seal the bag once they have done.

In both cases this approach doesn't involve getting out of the car, so is probably the safest potty option.

By car.  On main roads with appropriate parking but no actual toilet facilities. 

Where you can pull over and exit your car safely at parking stops or on the road side on lower speed roads you also have another option.  Some may not be comfortable with this option, but sometimes needs must!  

3.  The Potty (or Hold) Outside the Car - When you need to, pull over into appropriate parking facilities.

You can exit your vehicle, place the potty on the floor next to the car, let your child use it, then clean up as before.

Alternatively, in the absence of a potty you can hold your child a little off the ground to enable them to wee (just watch your shoes!)

In both cases I'd consider how you park when you park.  What I mean is, if you park next to another car and open both front and back doors on your car, you create a small private space between your two doors to give your child a little bit of privacy.

Additionally it's easier for children to 'water grass' than to do this over concrete simply from the point of view of keeping your shoes dry and not creating rivers of wee across car parks!  So parking next to a grass verge or hedge is often helpful.    

***

So there are my methods of coping with travelling with a child that is in the early stages of toilet training, and where you don't want to revert to nappies that you have worked so hard to remove.

I hope it's been useful.  If you know of any mums that may find this information useful please do feel free to share this page/URL with your friends on Twitter, Facebook, or your preferred social network.

For further tips on parenting, beauty, getting organised, travel, entertaining the kids and cheap days out with the kids, you can follow me by email.  Simply enter your email address in the right hand panel.  You can also follow on Twitter here or the Facebook page here.  

Finally, a selection of potties and travel potties are below in case you need to stock up! 
Thanks.

Are you a Yummy Mummy?

I'm delighted to be over at Wriggly Rascals today, talking, as ever, about what we mean by a yummy mummy.

Struggling to find time for yourself?  Wondering how to fit in the manicures now you've got a baby on the way? Wondering if you even need to bother?

Pop on over to my post now and see what I have to say .about staying yummy.

Mum of two, Alison, is struggling with this very subject.  Click here if you have some yummy advice that would help another mum. 

Or feel free to share your yummy advice with me @ymummyreally and the Wriggly Rascals team on twitter.


About Wriggly Rascals

Wriggly Rascals was set up by Shona Motherwell, a frustrated mum of twins Mhairi and Archie, to get mums together to share pregnancy, baby and toddler advice via quick surveys to get the facts about what other mums do.  Our mums pass on loads of great tips to mums who have asked for help.  I f you would like some advice, get in touch at www.wrigglyrascals.com

Advice for new mums: What do you really need to take out with you?

As a first time mum I prepared myself to take my baby out for her first walk.  It was May 2006 and summer had started early.  In fact it's the last summer I can remember when it was really, really hot for a prolonged period of time.

I had my travel system set up ready and I was packing a bag.

The intention was to walk around the block.  It would take me, in my post baby, suffering from piles (sorry), slightly sore state, probably about 20-30 minutes to take a slow stroll.  Without baby it would have been 10 minutes.

What did I think I was going to need!?  

The changing bag was pre-packed with 10 nappies, a full pack of wipes, at pack of 100 nappy bags, anti-bacterial hand gel, nappy rash cream, 2 spare baby sleep suits, rattles, a handful of bibs, two cartons of ready made milk, a sterilised bottle, scissors and a bottle of water for me.  Even in my post-baby state, surely I should of realised this was overkill for a short walk.

But what do you really need to pack in that baby bag?  What's essential, and what can you just leave at home?  If it's your first time, you just don't know, so you prepare for everything, terrified you'll need to one thing you forgot and somehow permanently damage your child as a result of your error.

In the first few weeks of a babies life their needs, though seemingly complex and frustrating difficult to decipher, are reasonably few and simple.  They need food and drink which comes handily in one package: milk.  They need winding, as they are rubbish at drinking that milk without sucking most of the air out of the atmosphere at the same time.  They need changing, for obviously reasons; and they need sleep.

Ideally they need all that whilst being comfortable, which means not too hot or too cold.

So; for the benefit of first time mums everywhere, here are the definitive lists for long or short walks whatever the season, along with back-up plans, should you need them and special notes on feeding on the go!

The basic list - the store cupboard of baby packing.

Whenever you leave the house with a small baby in tow you will need the following:

• Two nappies
• A pack of 30 baby wipes
• 5 nappy sacks (you might need them for more than just the nappies)
• 1 spare baby outfit appropriate to the weather (in case of nappy or milk explosions)
• Anti-bacterial hand gel for you
• A bottle of water for you
• If you are breastfeeding, then a couple of spare breast pads.
• An appropriate travel system (buggy, pram, sling, baby carrier)
• A single rattle/toy (optional for newborns)
• The baby

Packing for a short walk in the summer

In addition to the list above you'll need the following:

• Shade from the sun for your baby.  When I was growing up, and for my first child, this came in the form of a clip-on umbrella.  Highly annoying devices that older babies can grab, once they can sit up, and permanently move out of position.  Thankfully technology has caught up with this problem and the shade now more commonly comes in the form of a buggy custom made UVA cover, like this Phil & Ted UV Sunny Days Mesh Cover.   

• Or sunshades like this one. 

• Whilst you can pick these up for £12, maybe less on ebay, you may wish to save your pennies and use a cotton sheet draped over the pram or buggy top (not on their face, else they won't be able to breathe).  They can be clipped on with bulldog clips or pegs, or simply tie a knot in the corner of the sheet and use ribbon tied around the sheet next to the knot to secure to the buggy.

• Your own sunhat.  I'm assuming you are wearing suncream or are covered up.  Don't forget about your own welfare too!

•  There is really no need for bottles or feeding gear if you are taking your walk shortly after a feed has finished.  See 'feeding on the go' below if you really can't bare to go without something.  

A short walk in the winter

Add the following to the basic list:

• A spare blanket
• Warm sleep suit/snowsuit, gloves and hat for baby
• Warm enough clothes for you including gloves, hat and scarf.
• Rain cover for the travel system/buggy/pram.
• A mac for you.  Umbrellas for you are NO USE.  You will always need your two hands to steer the buggy.  Whilst one handed buggy pushing is possible for short periods, and more possible with one handled buggies than two handled ones, it's not sustainable - believe me!  So a rain mac it is.  With hood!

A long walk in the summer

You may need to incorporate a feed into a longer walk, which is fine as long as you plan for it.  Whether you are breastfeeding or bottle feeding this simply entails checking that there are appropriate stopping points on your planned route to stop if required; park benches, coffee shops etc.

Add the following to the basic list:

• 2 muslin squares (either for modesty whist breastfeeding, for clean up, or instead of bibs)
• An extra 2 breast pads if you are breastfeeding
• A sterilised bottle, either made up in advance or to make up on the go.  See notes below for options.
• Milk (ready made or powered)

 

 

 

A long walk in the winter

Everything from the basic list, plus the items on the short walk in the winter list, plus the items on the long walk in the summer list.  Basically everything apart from the sunshade and sunhats!

 

 

Notes on feeding on the go

 

Do you need feeding kit on a short walk?

Even if, in the worst case, baby decides they didn't have enough milk before you set off on your walk, or the walk gets rid of a last bit of wind resulting in them wanting more, you are still only minutes away from home.

If you are breastfeeding and you can't stand the 'feed me' cry, you may be able to walk along whilst feeding them in a sling, or even just in your arms.  You could stop at a convenient point.  But if there really isn't anywhere to feed your baby, then it's just a matter of damage control until you can get back home, and that probably means taking them out of the pram and distracting them whilst you walk, or, simply walking as fast as you can.

Your baby may be loud for a few short minutes, and you may find that difficult if you are a first time mum, but don't worry.  Waiting 10 minutes for some milk will not kill them.  In fact, sooner or later they will learn to wait for things for short periods, especially if they also have a demanding sibling!  They will learn to trust that the milk will be along shortly and will more happily wait for you, but in the meantime, try not to worry if they have to cry for a short time.  You can't always magic up a solution immediately!

 

Breastfeeding on the go

If you are breastfeeding you have 'logistically' an easier time of it, in that there isn't a long list of things to remember to take with you just to ensure your baby has food.  Of course you do, potentially have slightly different logistical problems.

1. You, of course, need to be wearing a good weaning bra.   Don't find yourself having to strip off, like I did, realising I was wearing a normal bra and couldn't actually access the all important part!
2. Invest in a couple of good weaning tops.  Wrap over, tie at the side, tops work well, as do buttoned shirts and blouses, as you can drape them over your other breast and your tummy for much needed modesty.  A muslin square can help with that too, though they do have a tendency to fall off your shoulder at inappropriate moments.
3. Unfortunately you may still find yourself subject to the glares from disapproving folk.  Please please ignore it.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeding your baby in public.  Be considerate to others by all means, by covering up where possible, but do not feel that you need to hide away.  In the UK any shop owner that asks a breastfeeding mum to leave tends to find themselves subject to a lot of negative press and a trip to court.  If you are in any way unsure you can find lists of breastfeeding friendly establishments on-line for your area.

You may find these posts on Maternity fashion useful: Making do and saving money and The Do's, Don'ts and where to find it.

Bottle feeding on the go

If you are bottle feeding and baby is happy with room temperature milk you could do one of the following:- 

1. If a feed is likely to be due within the next half hour, then pack a made up bottle of milk, powdered or otherwise.  Make it up before you set off and ensure that you will have used it before the hour is up. 
2. If you are uncertain when the feed may be due, the easiest plan is to pack a sterilised, but empty, bottle along with a small carton of ready made milk and a small pair of clean scissors to open the milk carton with.  No real need to warm these up when you need them, it's a matter of preference.  I simply opened the carton and poured it into the bottle.  

 If you have a baby that is used to warmed milk you have a few options.

1. When I had my first you could make up your milk bottles for the coming day and keep them in the fridge.  I'd then take a bottle out in a thermal bottle holder and also take out a small plastic bowl big enough to sit the bottle in, along with a small thermos of boiled water.  I'd then pour the hot water into the bowl and sit the bottle of milk in the hot water to warm it through.  Many cafes and coffee shops will provide hot water and a bowl, so if you know you are going somewhere that does - don't pack them.
2. These days I am led to understand they they don't encourage you to make them up in advance.  So if this is the case you could take your ready made up unopened carton along with the sterilised bottle and the hot Thermos. Milk into bottle, bottle into hot water, milk nice and warm.  
3. If you are using the powdered milk, then you'll take a small pot with the correct measure of powdered milk in it along with your empty bottle and your hot thermos.  Add the hot water to the bottle, add the powdered milk, lid on and shake well.  
4. Alternatively with powdered milk carry the hot water in the bottle already, keeping it warm in the thermal bottle holder, ready to add the powdered milk.  Though if you do this final version don't leave it very long before you use the water.  You need it really warm when you add the powdered milk.

Strawberry flavoured straws to make strawberry milk: Brilliant!

Packing for your holiday?

Wondering how to take a little piece of home with you to comfort the children? 

Our two girls have always loved milk. When you are breastfeeding it's easy enough to take your supply on holiday with you.  But when you are bottle feeding, or they've moved onto full fat cows milk, taking milk that they will drink on holiday makes for a heavy set of cases.

When the younger was 10 months old we took her and her older sister abroad for our summer holidays.  Because she was still drinking follow-on milk we took cartons of it with us along with bottles, sterilisers and bottle warmers. I survived with the smallest collection of clothes you've ever seen and actually had to wash underwear whilst on holiday.  I hate that.  The things you do when you have children!

And now; when the two girls are 6 and 3 years old respectively, I find myself packing strawberry flavoured straws, because recently they have moved onto milk with additional strawberry or vanilla flavouring added.  Just like you can add blackcurrent cordial to water, you can now add strawberry, vanilla or chocolate flavouring to milk. My girls love it.  At home it comes in bottles, just like cordial, so I didn't intend to take any with me.  But then, my husband discovered these straws.

He found them in Sainsburys.  They are plastic straws that have been pinched at each end; just enough to hold in small pink balls of flavouring; but not enough to stop the ability to suck milk through the straw.  So you simply take a straw out of the packet of five, pop it in your milk and drink through it.  The milk picks up the flavour as it passes through the straw.  I have no idea what ingredients are in them and I strongly suspect it's not the healthiest collection of ingredients ever.  But I'm under no illusions; these are a treat.

Very clever; and a lovely way to bring a little piece of home to our holiday breakfasts.  They don't take up much room in the case either! More room for maxi-dresses!


This is not a sponsored post.  It is purely me, sharing the products I love!  I have received no benefits or payment to recommend this product.

I NEED THE TOILET DADDY!

We are at the seaside and my hubby has taken the eldest out to swim in the sea. 

It's a lovely large sandy beach and the water is not particularly deep and it stays so for quite a while, providing a very large area for swimming and splashing and lounging about on lilos (if so inclined) quite safely.  

She, the 6 year old, is swimming with an inflatable ring around her waist for ease.  He's encouraging her to kick her legs and practice her swimming strokes as she's been taking lessons.
 
They've been in the sea a fair while, so it's not entirely unexpected when she says:
 
"I need the toilet, daddy"
 
Daddy does what, let's face it, most daddy's would do when faced with this question at nearly a hundred yards from the shore. He explains, in hushed tones, that it's really alright to go to the toilet out in the sea when you are that far out.  After all; it's all very natural and no-one will ever know.  And of course, it saves him rushing her in to the beach and up to the hotel.
 
A few minutes later she grins and says; "Done it!" and carries on swimming.  
 
Daddy is pleased with his parenting skill so far in, what could have been a taxing situation.
 
They swim some more.
 
And Daddy catches sight of a leaf in the sea.  
 
He thinks it's odd, being so far out, so he looks a little more closely.  
 
It's not a leaf.
 
Daddy wasn't entirely specific enough when he explained what was acceptable in the sea.  In fact he really ought to have explained what was and what wasn't.
 
He quickly moved away from the floating 'leaf' and said to her urgently.
 
"Did you just have a wee wee, dear?"
 
"No daddy" she says, sweet and innocent as pie. "I did a poo poo too" she adds proudly.
 
Parenting skills have taken a blow.  Daddy knows he needs a quick recovery.  Clean up will be required if he has any hope of keeping this minor error a secret. He whispers to her that actually it's not really good form to do 'those' in the sea, and he gets her to quickly whip off her swimsuit so that he can 'clean it out'.  
 
They are a long way out, and there's a lot of space around them, so hopefully no one will notice.
 
He cleans the swimsuit up, scrapping them out with his hands (euuuwww), and pops them back on her and looks around them to check if he's got away with it. 
 
A fellow is floating quite close to them now on a lilo, but other than that, there isn't anyone particularly close by.  

He thinks they've got away with it.
 
That is until he spies, out of the corner of his eyes, the man on the lilo suddenly flinch, and start back-peddling quickly in the opposite direction.
 
I guess the 'leaf' was heading his way......
 

I am lucky to have such an honest husband that, in the interests of providing bloggable material he felt he really couldn't keep this secret, well, a secret.

Topless water slides anyone?

The summer is supposedly upon us; it is June after all; and if you are packing your cases for your summer holidays you'll no doubt be packing a bikini, or a tankini, or a swimsuit (bather, cossie) in the hope that there will be good weather to be had.

Those of you who are going on holidays sans children may well be packing these items with only a view to whether you have this season's trend or not.  You may be considering how much, or how little, skin they cover depending on how comfortable you are with your body.
  
But, unless you are still in your twenties and going on an activity holiday with friends, the chances are you haven't packed your swimwear with consideration as to what type of water slide they may be subjected to.

If you do have children you may suddenly find yourself, 10 years after last plummeting down a ridiculously designed water slide into water that really needs a kettle or two of boiling water adding to it, sat at the top of one such slide in a swimsuit that you fear may not cut the mustard; so to speak.

You see, women's beach wear isn't designed for water slides.  More formal women's swimwear might be; the sort of all-in-one swimsuit that the Olympic competitors may wear.  That kind of swimsuit would withstand anything you throw at it.  But, do you really want to be sat, by the pool, in hotter climes, next to the skinniest, tanned, bikini clad 18 year old, with your all-in-one Adidas piece on?  I would humbly suggest not.

So what to do? 

Freya do a good line in tankinis that incorporate 'proper' bras in them (with adjustable fastenings and everything).  These supply good support when hurtling downhill at speed.  Similarly, Figleaves do structured, under wired, all in ones that are flattering and won't be mistaken for competition cast offs.  They also have 20% off at the moment.  Just enter TWENTY at the check out.

What you can't rely on are the usual basic bikinis that grace the pages of every fashion magazine every spring.

That is, unless you are deliberately expecting to arrive at the bottom of that chute with breasts on show for all to enjoy.  If that's the case, then fine, go buy in complete freedom.  If not, elastic, structure and under wiring are your best friends, allowing you to not be 'that' embarrassing mother!  Been there.  Done that. 

How to get sleep even during a child's illness & what medicines to give when?

How do you console a crying child with a temperature? How do you revitalise a child running a temperature, but who is otherwise absolutely fine?

How do you ensure a temperature doesn't keep a child awake at a time when sleep would be the best thing to help them recover?  How do you do all this without appearing at the doctors office at the first sign of every sniffle?

Every mother I know has a stock of Calpol in the cupboard. Most also have Calprofen. I know we do. But I still go through a debate with myself before I dish out a dose.

Should I be reverting to medicine this quickly? Will they build up a resistance? Could they cope without it? All the questions that you answer one way when you have the luxury of debating it without a weeping child burning up in your arms, but of course, when it comes to it, you dish out that dose pretty quickly.

And so it then becomes a question of dosage and timing. Which to give and when to give it. It took a while for us to work out that you can give both at the same time. Calpol being for pain relief, Calprofen being an  anti-inflammatory. But if you literally give them at the same time, you then have a 4-6 hour window where they are not allowed any more medicine. After 3 hours this can be a problem.

So we tend to alternate.  Calprofen with meals (as required); at 6.30am, 12noon and 6pm. Calpol in between at 9.30am if needed, 2.30 if needed and, in order to ensure we get our sleep at the same time they do, we gently wake them at around 10.30pm to give a dose.

It's this 10.30pm dose that saves our sanity when they are unwell. It means that we get a good batch of sleep ourselves and if we're lucky until 6am. If we skip this dose they tend to wake at 3am; and I don't cope well with 3am wake-ups.  It is seriously detrimental to my ability to calmly nurse them better.  Particularly in the summer when, after sitting with them for half an hour you suddenly hear the birds start singing!

Last night I forgot. My daughter was running a slight temperature, and had swollen tonsils, but was generally fine and running around playing.  She had some medicine at 2.30pm, as she became very hot fairly suddenly;  but then we forgot to do anymore as she seemed fairly well. Of course, at 3.30am this morning she woke up, crying, very hot and with swollen tonsils that were hurting (I could tell by the laboured swallowing). A quick dose of Calprofen was required, but of course I had to sit with her for quite a while to wait for it to start it's work enough for her to fall asleep.

Whilst the Calpol and Calprofen combination works well for things like sore throats and temperatures; (where they are generally fine, but need help fighting something off) I find that the old fashioned cold, with it's runny nose and subsequent coughing, can be stopped just enough for your child to get a good nights sleep with one of these; Karvol, Olbas Oil or Vicks VaboRub. 

The choice depends on symptoms.  With a blocked up nose that needs clearing, Olbas oil works well.  For a runny nose that needs stemming, Karvol works well.  To ease the congestion and tickling at the coughing stage, Vicks Vaborub (rubbed on their feet - yes, I know it's weird, but it works) is our choice.

And did I get back to sleep last night?  As is typical of these kind of nights, the 5 year old then woke up having had a bad dream. I got back into bed at nearly 5am. It's lucky I have a lovely hubby who gave me a surprise lie in this morning in thanks for getting up with the children in the night!  You can't plan for bad dreams unfortunately!


Click here for tips on settling a child to sleep at night.

Please note: the advice here is in no way intended as a substitute for medical advice.  If an appropriate dose of medicine doesn't bring your child's temperature down within an hour, or indeed if they are obviously very unwell, you should seek medical advice.  The advice presented here is purely for those situations where the child is generally fine, but is fighting a slight temperature and occasionally needs assistance with that.