Monday, 6 January 2014

Feeling like you are not a good mum?

the word is no

I feel this numerous times everyday. I honestly think that if you permanently think you are a fabulous mum you are probably suffering from delusions.

Part of being a good parent is recognising your weaknesses and knowing what you are doing well and what needs improvement. We are not all perfect. Knowing this makes us one step closer to attaining success.

It will be different in other parts of the world, but in the UK we live in a culture where women are told in school that girls are more intelligent than boys. The exam statistics prove it. We are told we can do anything, be leaders, lawyers, doctors or pop stars - it's all available to us. We are also shown celebrity mothers, usually those in the film, TV or Modelling industry, in top designer wear, with perfect haircuts, running their children to school in 4x4s, playing out at the park in their designer jeans, and somehow maintaining a career without their mascara running. We think that this is what we must strive for. Everything. Woman have fought long and hard for us to have equal opportunity to men. We shouldn't waste the opportunity.

It's all an awful lot of pressure to have everything and do everything and to do it all brilliantly with fabulous skin and perfect nails.

It would be lovely if mothers had some other role models to look up to. Woman who use their hard fought right to equal opportunity to choose one thing or another. Women who have chosen to parent full time and do it brilliantly and have no need or want for something more. Woman who work part-time and manage to balance their life with help from close friends and family, but who don't care about fashion and frankly haven't seen the inside of a beauty salon for years - why bother when the children love you bare faced? Woman who decide what they want and don't worry about the rest.

It would be lovely if we said; do you know what, we can't have it all and have it all successfully. There just are not enough hours in the day?

What freedom it would bring if we said; "actually we work full time, so we know we won't see the children as much, but we love our job, so they will see us as happy, independent woman and we will ensure they get to spend time with grandparents (something positive that we missed out on in our youth), and we will dedicate weekends to kicking back and playing out, with no concern for ironing or manicures?"

Wouldn't it be good if more of our female celebrities were from industries outside of TV, film and modelling? Why are we more interested in female singers than female doctors? If there ever was a zombie apocalypse I know which skills I'd rate.

Wouldn't it be good if we gave ourselves a pat on the back for the few things we do do well, and basically told the world "knickers" to the rest?

Well here's your chance. Say "knickers" to them. Being a parent is the most valuable job in the world. Do it well and we improve the future. If world peace is ever going to stand a chance, then we might just have to give less attention to the hair colorants and more attention to educating our children.

You are a parent. Be proud. And sod the ironing.

 

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