How to sell your parenting skills in the work place

Parenting versus Managing

There isn't a day goes by that I don't use skills at work that I learnt through being a parent.

Whether I am being encouraging; or expressing my disappointment at someone who should know better; managing conflict and assisting with calm authority, denying gossip; managing good and bad performance; managing relationships (and ensuring the team don't kill each other); teaching office manners, where it's OK to smoke - but "I really wouldn't because xyz", that "please", "thank you" and "you're welcome" are not optional extras, and finally, teaching that punctuality is a key measure by which you'll be judged.

Over and over again I find myself having the same conversations in work as I've had at home talking to my girls as they grew up.

And actually, teaching and training and managing the 6 and 8 year old is often much easier than doing the same with a bunch of adults who all think they know better. Some of which have never been taught how to spell. Some never got into the habit of saying 'thank you'. Some are learning new things and getting frustrated by the slowness of their learning. Many (oh goodness FAR too many) gossip and argue in the same way you'd expect on a playground.

 

Sell your parenting skills to interviewers

So if you are trying to get back into the workplace after having children you can absolutely sell your newly learnt skills in parenting as management skills.

In interview there is often a set of questions that require you to give examples from your career of when you resolved conflict, or managed a difficult situation. There's nothing to stop you using examples from your family life if you have limited workplace experience. Like the occasion when you resolved a fight that was brewing between two 12 year old boys using distraction techniques (snack time? "Oh look; a badger..", "Mario Cart anyone?") to 'resolve the conflict'. Like when your child was insisting they didn't understand their homework; but through calm, patient and soothing sessions, slowing explaining bit by bit you 'coached' them through it.

Notice my use of management terminology in these examples. The story may be one from home, but the techniques are the same. You know how to distract someone enough to prevent conflict from escalating. You know how to move from directing to 'coaching'; i.e. adapting your management style to fit the individual and situation. You already have two key skills that employers are looking for in the workplace. All you have to do is to sell that using their terminology.

Management terms and the parent equivalent:

Conflict resolution :

Parents use distraction well to avoid the conflict. They are also experts in the art of compromise and the use of the phrase "it doesn't always go your way - learn to share and take turns!" Knowing how to pick out what is really important to both parties and to get quickly to a position where both parties get what they want is a sought after skill. It's a skill leaders of teams spend years honing. As a parent you may have had a crash course!

Coaching and Mentoring:

Anyone who's helped with homework has learnt some skills in this area. How to encourage, to point out mistakes in a positive way, and use them for learning and not for punishment. To help the student come to the conclusion themselves. Not just tell them the answer.

Communication:

You taught your child to talk. Not just talk, communicate. They learn how to show emotion and use body language from you. You taught them. How amazing is that? That took some major communication skills on your part. It also takes strong communication skills to explain things like why it's important that we look right and left when crossing the road. Explaining things; making yourself understood; being clear; all skills an employer looks for.

Listening skills:

You can clearly explain things, but what about listening? To truly communicate well with your child you need to know how to listen to them. Learning how to stop yourself interrupting and asking lots of questions is a tough lesson that successful parents discover quickly. We all love to talk, but many of us struggle to truly listen to others. As a parent we have to learn to allow space and pauses to give time for our child to pull their sentence together and work out what they want to say. We learn to allow those pauses, and to give the time. How great will your staff feel when you give them the same space to express themselves. When you truly listen. If this is a skill you have honed as a parent, then it's absolutely one to put in your toolbox for the work place.

Team Building:

A room full of children all wanting to do different things, all with different interests and skills? Mum's know how to get them all working on the one project (building a fort, a rounders tournament) and how to allocate each child an appropriate task that they'll enjoy and that will contribute to the whole. Sound like skills a manager of a team would need? Too right it does.

Time Management (prioritising):

The children want to play one more game of Mario Cart but you also need to get them to brush their teeth and get dressed before leaving the house to do the weekly shop. The house needs dusting and you 'must' pay the electric bill today. Oh, and they have homework due tomorrow. Then just as you are about to leave the house the youngest falls and bumps their head. It's an egg of a bump, but your child passes the 'count my fingers' tests. It needs an ice pack. Shopping can wait.

The average parent reassesses and reprioritises the tasks of the day hundreds of times. If anyone can jump from task to task fluidly, it's an experienced parent. Multi-tasking? Parents have this one down.

Performance:

Children are judged on how well turned out they are, whether they use their manners, and if they turn up on time to class. It's the same with adults, but it's amazing how many adults forget.  Point out to your interviewer how much you value manners and punctuality and how your will expect and instil it in the team. Just make sure you are on time for the interview and look smart yourself!

Work Output:

Your child attempts their homework but it's barely legible. They've rushed it and it's full of mistakes. Brash managers may immediately point out the woeful nature of work if it came in like this. But they will miss out on the opportunity to motivate and encourage the worker. Parents learn when praise can be more effective than criticism. They know to immediately praise the fact that the work is done and do a lovely extravagant dance that goes something like this...

"Oh well done for doing your homework Jimmy. It's really good that mummy didn't need to remind you. I'll have a look, shall I? And see if we can make sure there are no mistakes for your teacher to find. She's good at finding them, isn't she? Let's pretend to be the teacher and check your work just like she would? What would she say? Hmmm.... I can't read this bit Jimmy. What have you written here? Oh I see. That's really good. It would be a shame if your teacher couldn't quite read it like me. Maybe if you rewrite those few words a little clearer? Here's a rubber. ...... Why don't you read through the rest and pretend you are your teacher? Can you find any parts that could be improved? That way she'll never find them!"

Get the idea? Managing work output is about teaching individuals to self-check their work. If you can do it with a headstrong 8 year old who is intent on going off to play on their Wii, then you can do it with an employee who has no choice but to sit in their office until 5pm anyway, so they might as well make life easier for themselves and produce the output required first time.

Selling your skills: other resources

There are plenty of other techniques that are learnt and used and are under the banner of parenting. In actual fact they are no different from the same techniques taught under the banner of management.

The UKs National Careers Service website includes a great "skills checker" which helps you identify what skills you have now and which career is most suited to them.

So sell those techniques, and tell your interviewer why those techniques are relevant to the job you are applying for. Remember to search them out in the Person Specifications on job descriptions and to use your parenting know-how to demonstrate how great you are at these skills.

Whatever industry you are in, at some point it'll involve 'parenting' a team of staff! Good luck. You know you can do it!

And once you get that dream job, you may need some tips on managing your work-home life balance. This article on "how I find the time" may be useful!