None of them now talk to me.
On my latest summer holiday I thought I'd pick up a magazine to read on the plane. A quick look through them in the shop told me they hadn't changed in 20 years. Still as irrelevant to me - in fact more so!
And I wonder whether there's a huge gap in the market here? Are there loads of people like? Or am I just really weird? You be the judge. I'll tell you why I don't like them...
- The photo shopping. I'm in my 40s. I know what real women look like. Quite frankly a trip down to a beach in the height of summer will give you a better indication of the true variety, shapes and sizes of the female form in all it's glory. None of this reality is reflected in any way in women's magazines.
- They are almost entirely made up of advertisements. I refuse to pay money for the privilege of having every other page try to sell me something.
- The actual articles are largely adverts in disguise too. Grrrr.
- Make-up features heavily in these magazines. I wear next to no make-up and what I do wear lasts a long time, so no need to replace it on a weekly basis. Give it a rest - women aren't all obsessed with make-up, and even those that do love it and are great with it (hat's off to you as I know I'm rubbish at it), don't need half their magazine solely full of this. We are more than just a face.
- Health articles feature heavily - but not health in a rounded sense. These articles are almost exclusively all about losing weight or toning up. What about some useful tips on how to look after your eyes? Keep your joints strong? Boost your heart strength?
- When celebrities are featured in these magazines, I've got to admit I recognise none of them. I, like many of my friends, are not remotely interested in reality TV. We were born before the Internet existed, when people wrote in their diaries and were annoyed if someone got hold of them. Now everyone gets annoyed if we don't read all their life troubles that they've posted on-line. Those that do get readers become 'celebrities' and get book deals. (Don't get me started about how unfair 'that' appears to people that actually enjoy writing for a living, can do it well, and still haven't ever seen their book in print. Oops - rant warning on behalf of all budding authors... sorry. Back on track.) So the celebrities now are from reality shows that we don't watch and have no interest in.
- What am I interested in? Technology developments. Marvel. Films. The TV show 'Suits'. Theatre. Dancing - all kinds. Improving the mind. Learning techniques and memory techniques. The NHS. Sport (alright - some sport. A little bit of info on the GB Athletics team and British Lions Rugby would be read with interest.) Cooking (but sensible cooking with ingredients I will actually have and won't have to do a special shopping trip for.) Parenting children of 11 and 8! Computer coding (Remember - pre-Internet woman here. Coding at school didn't exist). Interesting places to visit and things to do both abroad and in this country. Where to buy the best Rose. You know - things that are useful!
OK. Rant over. Anyone over 40 found a magazine I might like?