Not solely; in my head yummy mummies manage to be permanently happy, smiling, glowing (from all the sex they are getting), kind, considerate and above all calm. But, in the main, she is thin (healthily so, with strong muscles), fashionable and preened. She has manicured nails, perfectly styled hair and perfect just-there make-up.
And when I see a woman with those 'looks', I make judgements. I judge how happy I think she is, I judge what television I think she watches, what music she listens to and what interests she has. In a split second I have a fully-rounded person in my head. Then, as I get to know them better, the judgements adapt accordingly.
What is interesting is that I also make the same judgements about people I have never met, based only on the smattering of information I know about them, what other's have said, and heavily influenced by my experiences.
I do this before meeting them and often find that the image of the person that I was holding in my head; the temporary 'egg' shape that appears as your avatar before you finally get around to downloading your picture; looks nothing, and I mean nothing, like the person in real life.
I do this before meeting them and often find that the image of the person that I was holding in my head; the temporary 'egg' shape that appears as your avatar before you finally get around to downloading your picture; looks nothing, and I mean nothing, like the person in real life.
This morning a friend of mine was astonished. She had just met someone in person for the first time, but knew some of their family already. She explained how, in her head, this lady was; tall, skinny, blonde, brisk, stern, business-like, suited and formal.
How strange then, that the person actually turned out to be; slightly above average height, skinny, brunette, shy, understated, jeans-wearing, friendly, relaxed, nervous and very informal.
My friend couldn't work out how she'd managed to get the avatar in her head so completely wrong. She was intrigued how she'd formulated that image, and what experiences must have collated together to present that data. She wondered what the family members must have said in the past to contribute to that mental image.
I similarly have had occasions where I've met someone, they've told me their name, I've said "Ohhhh, so you're……" and been shocked at how wrong my mental picture was.
Have you had any similar occasions? Does your 'image' of someone change if you speak to them on the phone?
Have you ever thought that someone's voice didn't fit with what they looked like? What is that all about?
ha ha I do this ALL the time. Most starkly, I work as an Editorial Assistant on academic journals - all my work is online but I work very closely on 2 of my journals with a large international editorial board. I met most of them last year at a conference in France after emailing for a couple of years. I'd been bang to rights with some of them (the beards, the sandals - it's a vegetation science journal) but some I had got completely wrong!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how accurate the stereotypes can be sometimes! I think people put on different hats for different things as well, which makes it even harder!
DeleteThanks for stopping by. :-)
I once announced to someone who I knew well from the phone, but had never met "Oh you always sounded blonde" - obviously this was not taken the way I had meant it!
ReplyDeleteThat made me giggle! Oh dear. I hope they forgave you. I shall have to remember not to say that!
DeleteThanks for popping in. Feel free to browse. :-)
I have an image of you! You are late 30s/ early 40s, slim, but not too thin, cool and a bit glamorous in an understated way. You dress and wear make-up appropriate to your age and you look good with it! You are a brunette with mid-length hair. Please don't tell me you are a scruffy overweight blonde in your 20s!
ReplyDeleteFreakily accurate and I am loving the "look good with it" part. I'm slightly scared now!?! :-)
DeleteI'm worried about revealing my image of you now incase it's 'really' off the mark.
I found Britmums was the king of ruining my perceptions. I had so many pictures in my head and almost nobody looked like theirs!
ReplyDeleteI found that. And I am finding it difficult now to get my brain to 'make way' for the accurate picture. It's clinging on to old pictures very stubbornly!
DeleteNot sure if we met there either? Sorry if we did and I ruined your image of me! ;-)
Thanks for commenting.
Definitely. I always try hard not to have preconceptions about a person because I often find they're wrong. Although, sometimes right. I mean some people really do fit their stereotype don't they.
ReplyDeleteErrr. Yes... You only have to attend the odd Accounting conference to prove that! Grey suit anyone?
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