Thursday, 5 July 2012

Morning Chaos! When the children just WON'T let you out.

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What's the worse thing your child has ever done to delay your progress in the morning? More specifically; to delay your progress first thing in the morning when you are, as usual, running late anyway and need to take them to school and nursery before getting yourself (dressed) to work.

My morning rush today included an impromptu bath and a hair drying session.  Hmmmm.  Not what you'd expect when the girls had a bath last night which included the full shampoo and conditioner treatment.  The problem, I think, is that they are now pretty independent and that lulls me into an unfortunate sense of security.

My problems started when I sent them into the bathroom to brush their teeth.  5 minutes.  Tops.  That's how long they were in there whilst I popped in my contact lenses and did my makeup in my bedroom.  5 minutes is all it took to turn them from two dressed and ready to go to school & nursery children into one "nude, stood in the bath with soap all over her, but no water," child and 1one "surreptitiously stirring a mixture of goodness knows what bath products in the bowl," child.

Obviously I was fairly taken aback.

"What are you doing?" I stupidly asked, as if it wasn't obvious that they were clearly having a bath and mixing a potion respectively 10 minutes before we are due to pile into the car.

I didn't panic.  Much.  They had luckily had enough fun and Younger (the one in the bath) was getting cold and was pretty keen to get out.  So I quickly rinsed her off with a sponge, lifted her out, wrapped her in a towel and asked the Elder to help get the Younger's dress and leggings on whilst I finished getting dressed.

The recovery was good.  I went downstairs and the Elder followed me.  The first thing I noticed about the Younger when she followed us was that she didn't have her leggings on.  The second thing I noticed was that she had very, very, very white legs.

"What have you done?" I asked stupidly, as it was obvious they'd decided that talc was required and had been very generous in the application.  The Elder rolled her eyes.

Luckily, the excess talc came off easily and the Younger happily carried on getting those leggings on.

OK, I am thinking.  We are still on schedule.  Excellent work.  Crisis averted.  Super mummying.

I hadn't quite counted on the sneaky nature of the Elder's morning sabotage.

It was time to quickly plait the Elder's hair.  Hmmmm.  Why is the top of her hair all greasy and smells fruity?  Could it be that in the potion-making stage upstairs she decided to condition her own hair?  Without water?  In just one spot?

Of course it did.

I had to quickly walk her to the nearest sink, rinse her hair to the best of my ability with her leaning back over the sink, so that her school uniform didn't get drenched.  Then hold the hair up, to avoid dripping, whilst she walked through to the lounge, to quickly dry it with a hair dryer.

How we got to school and nursery on time this morning I have NO IDEA.  Perhaps it was recompense for the ridiculous amount of rain!

So what's the best 'delaying tactic' your children have ever used?


  1. The worst we've had yet was Son2 pooing all over the carpet when left without a nappy for approx 30 seconds while I was distracted by Son1... Yes, we were late to school that morning!

    1. Euuww. I'd love to know what carpet cleaner you used to get rid of that! In my experience, the cleaners struggle with, you know, actual proper mess!

      I would NOT have been impressed! Did you manage to stay calm?

  2. Goodness me! My kids are bad every day, but it's just regular getting dressed slowly, forgetting to clean teeth sort of stuff. This is an achievement!

    1. Mine are far too inventive for their own good and easily distracted!

      You wait, I am sure they'll get you one day! ;-)

  3. The worst I had didn't go further than getting undressed. This is altogether another league ! So funny and terrible at the same time, the kind of thing that makes me want to scream 'Don't you know anything?!!!' Of course the question carries its own answer...

    1. Not sure whether your scream is directed at the children or me, but in both cases, you are right. ;-)
      I shall be 'checking' on them slightly more often in future!


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